Testimonies

06 Aug 2008

A Surrendered Wife

by Lydia Lim

This is a subject close to my heart. Many years ago, when I was preparing for my wedding, a female colleague asked me what I was going to do after I got married. Without hesitation, I told her that I would cook, clean, sew and dress up neatly to welcome my husband when he returns home from work, and when I have children, to stay home and take good care of them. My intention was stated in I Corinthians 7:34 “…but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” Well, with a conviction like that, you would think it was easy for me to become a submissive wife. I wanted to be submissive voluntarily, joyfully and wholeheartedly. I found out much later that being submissive requires more than just looking after the physical needs.

The first few years of our marriage were the most carefree. We were in wedded bliss and enjoyed each other’s company. Then, our first child was born. Oh how I loved this little bundle of joy! We did our sums and decided that I should quit my job to become a full-time housewife. I did a good job of keeping the house and looking after the baby without domestic help. Needless to say, the time required to do all these was taken from time that I would have spent with my husband. Then God delivered our second bundle of joy.

I continued to juggle housework, cooking, looking after the children and still looking good for my husband. I even had time to try out new recipes and baked for my family. I was physically very healthy and full of energy. But on the spiritual side, things were not going very well.

Over the years, I have stolen God’s blessings for me and claimed them as my own achievements. I have become proud and self-righteous. I could not see eye to eye with my husband on some issues. It was trying at times but I did not turn to God. I tried to tackle the problems using my own wisdom and understanding. I became so miserable that I asked God to change my husband.

Then the ever-gracious God sent me to the Ladies’ Bible Studies. As I read and learned God’s Word diligently, I began to see things from a different perspective. Ephesians 5:22 commanded that I, as a wife, should submit unto my husband, as unto the Lord. That was it! In order to submit to my husband, I continued to pray everyday, I felt a burden being lifted from me. I realized that only when my heart was filled with tender love, reverence, fear and humility of the Lord, then could I begin to be submissive. I began to ask God to change me instead. Now I learned to let go of my pride and self-righteousness. I used to feel guilty and burdened if my husband did not allow me to do what I felt was right. Not anymore, because I know God is watching over me and all things work together for good I must first submit myself totally unto the Lord. I humbled myself before the Sovereign Almighty God and asked Him to enable me to do all things through Christ, my Saviour and my Lord. As to them that love Him.

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church…Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:23-24 states very clearly the position of wives in the household. It is right to be submissive to the husbands. It keeps the house in harmony and the marriage in bliss. Being submissive does not mean I do not have a mind of my own. My dear husband makes sure that that does not happen to me. Submission through the Lord can move husbands too. They begin to change for the better seeing how the Lord works in their wives.

I still do the same things everyday. I cook, clean, look after the children and take time to look good for my husband. I face the same issues that every ordinary household faces. Whenever we do not see eye to eye, we will decide to look into one eye, mostly his eye. But I am joyful and at peace now. I am thankful that I have surrendered all to the Lord and am becoming a truly submissive wife, a surrendered one.

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A Surrendered Wife – A Poem

Once upon a time

This pure heart of mine

Wanted to please my husband

I cleaned till it shone

Cooked the meals on the stove

Waited for him to come home

My family got bigger

Had a boy and a girl

Time for my husband got lesser

Housework I could tackle