How do we praise our children?

When we praise our children for being ‘good boys/girls’, they do not know what they have done to warrant such an approval.  However, we engage in specific praises when we praise them for good character qualities. You could praise your child for being attentive by saying, “I like the way you sat and waited quietly when I was talking to Auntie Kate.”  By using the “I Wills”, we help our children to make connections with their daily experiences.  Praising achievement often teaches that results are the only things that count. The truth is that both character and achievement are important.  Here are some pointers on how to praise character:

1. Name a character quality when you praise.
2. Don’t compare children. Comparisons build some up by putting others down.
3. Avoid absolutes such as “Mary is always attentive”.
4. Remember, not all children have equal access to mental and physical achievement, but all children have equal access to character.

(Extracted from Character First! Information Sheet for Parents)