Issue 11 (19 June 2005) 

Challenges of the 21^st Century Father 

I would like to share with you a story I read some time ago about a little girl who had lost her father. The little girl was excited as she prepared herself for school knowing that this day was Daddy’s Day when all pupils were encouraged to bring their fathers along. Her mother tried to persuade her to stay home as she was afraid that the kids in her class might not understand why her father would not be attending. The little girl insisted on going. 

At school, the fathers were all waiting at the back while each pupil took turns to go on stage to introduce their fathers. Finally the teacher called the little girl’s name and she went forward. All eyes were searching for the man she was going to introduce. A boy shouted, “Where is your daddy?” and another said, “Looks like her dad is too busy for her”. The words did not upset her and she looked up and smiled at her mother before she looked back at her teacher who told her to continue. 

With her hands behind her back, she began to speak. “My daddy could not be here today as he lives far away, but I know he would have loved to come if he could. He loved to tell me stories and taught me how to ride my bike. He surprised me with pink roses and taught me how to fly a kite. We used to share ice cream in a cone together and although you cannot see him, I know I am not alone. Even though we are apart, he lives in my heart.” As she said this, the little girl placed her hand across her chest just above her heart. Somewhere in the crowd of fathers, her mother stood in tears proudly watching her daughter who was wise beyond her years. 

The little girl continued, “I love my daddy very much and he is my shining star. You see he was a fireman and died trying to save some people trapped in a tower hit by an airplane. Sometimes when I close my eyes, it’s like he has never gone away.” She paused and to the silence, she called out, “I know you are with me, Daddy”. 

The little girl has lost her father but the memory of him still lives in her heart. The story reminded me of the limited time I have with my children. I do not know when God will call me to heaven but whatever time I have here on earth, I resolve to make full use of it. This is made even more difficult in the 21^st century as work takes up a lot of my time. I am sure many fathers will agree with me on this. 

The Bible tells us that children are a gift and an inheritance from God. “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Psalm 127:3. So Christian fathers have an important role in the godly upbringing of our children. Being a good Christian role model for our children is crucial. We are responsible for teaching them the Christian faith and leading them to God. What our children need most are not material gifts but our time and guidance. This will take a lifetime of dedication and commitment. It is a life journey that we take step by step, day after day; finding opportunities to guide and bring them closer to God. Let me illustrate what I mean by this. 

As I work long hours from Monday to Friday, I pray for my children every morning when I ferry them to school en route to my workplace. Sometimes, when my mind was preoccupied by work, I forgot to pray but because it has become part of the daily routine, my youngest daughter would remind me of my duty. It is a pleasure to know that my daughter values my prayers for her and her sisters. Praying with them makes a great start to the day! 

Being a busy father, I make every attempt to adjust my schedule so that I can bring them to their enrichment classes; ferry them home from school after their CCAs and drop them off at church for fellowship meetings. With two aged parents to look after, this becomes even harder. I thank God then that my wife could step in to take my place. Sometimes, even my eldest daughter will have to help take care of her younger siblings.  

The 21^st family is an interdependent one. With no maid to help shoulder some of the household responsibilities, we have learnt to rely on each other. I admit I could not have done it all myself but as a family, we can weather all the minor crises that arise.  

So, fathers, let us resolve to make little sacrifices everyday to be good fathers to our children. Besides providing for their physical needs, we need to devote time to their spiritual and emotional needs. The reward of hearing the words, “Thanks, Dad, for all that you have done for me, especially for leading me to Christ and helping me grow in Him”, makes it all worthwhile.  

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4 

A busy father

Yeap Khek Teong 

Bringing Up Kids in the 21st Century

It is indeed not an overstatement to say that our children today face far more distractions and temptations then we had at their age.  Technology is a double-edged sword.  While we have benefited much from the proliferation of the Internet, it has also unleashed a cesspool of undesirables.  Handphones today are part of standard outfit and we will be hard pressed to find a teenager without one.  What was suppose to be a wonderful invention has turned into a source of heartaches and quarrels for some parents who have to fork out their hard earned money to pay hefty phone bills.  My colleague recently shared how shocked he was to receive his son’s (early teens) phone bill!   

We hear of 24/7 and a city that never sleeps.  Sounds exciting?  I think it sounds scary. Where do we fit the Sabbath in a 24/7 society?  How are we to find time and space to seek God in a city that never sleeps?  

As a Christian parent, I see a great challenge now and ahead. How do I shield my two teenage daughters from the lure of a materialistic and godless world? A world that has perfected the guise of evil beneath innocent packaging.  I believe the answer lies in Prov 22:6 - “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”  This precept is divinely echoed by the Apostle Paul in Eph 6:4 “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”  May God grant us the strength and wisdom to do just that. 

Tan Cheow Hock 

A Christian Father

A friend gave my wife and I a plaque in-scripted with Josh 24 :15 when we got married in Life Church in 1989.  The verse, "choose ye this day whom ye shall serve....but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" took on a brand new meaning when I became a father on March 26, 1991. 

Fathers indeed have a great responsibility to bring up their children in the nurture, admonishment and service of the Lord.  

In this regard, I would like to share my 5 R&R of a Christian father.  I pray that the Lord will speak in his own special way to young parents as they read this. 

To me, each of the 5 R&R is linked in a causal relationship that has deepened my resolve to be a good steward of my precious two kids. 

Roles & Responsibilities of a Christian father 

1. He acknowledges his child is a gift from God.

Indeed, God’s word tells us that every good and perfect gift is from above. Sometimes we compare our kids and lament that one is better than the other. This should not be so. My son (who is the difficult one) has taught me patience and my daughter (who asks difficult questions) has taught me not to take anything for granted. Indeed a Christian father must express love and acceptance to his children (1 Sam 12:23) 

2. He makes a commitment to God to grow as a Christian parent (Psalm 78: 5-6).

Children are more often then not mirror images of their parents whom they view as role models. Thus as parents we should be good examples in our service to the Lord and in our prayer lives. 

3. He disciplines his children.

While sometimes this is a heart-wrenching thing to do, God’s word shows us the way to discipline them. Fathers would be advised to heed God’s word in this difficult area. The discipline must be constructive/instructive and not just punishment. The discipline meted out should direct his children to keep the way of the Lord (Eph 6:4).  

4. He prays daily for his children (Job 1:10).

Occasionally as Christian parents we forget to intercede for our children. God’s word tells us that when a father neglects to pray for his family he leaves them vulnerable to satan’s attacks (1 Peter 5 : 8)  

5. And finally….. He involves his children in church activities (Gen 18:19).

When my son approached my wife and I to serve in the audio visual ministry, our initial response was one of concern. What if he creates a major disruption when pastor is preaching? But we are very glad that we agreed. He now not only looks forward to church service but more importantly, (since he needs to manage the sound system) he is listening and enjoying God’s word. 

David D 

NO PRAYER WITHOUT THANKSGIVING 

In everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 

Philippians 4:6 

I see so close a connection between prayer and praise in the Bible, that I dare not call that true prayer in which thanksgiving has no part. It is not for nothing that Paul says, “Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving” (Col 4:2).  We should never open our lips in prayer without blessing God for that free grace by which we live, and for that lovingkindness which endureth forever.  

J.C. Ryles (adapted from SWORD Scrapbook II) 

FATHERHOOD  

LUKE 12:48…FOR UNTO WHOMSOEVER MUCH IS GIVEN, OF HIM MUCH REQUIRED 

First and foremost, I thank God, our most gracious and loving Heavenly Father, for the privilege and honour of being a father to my four lovely children (they are indeed a heritage of the LORD!  Ps 127:3). I am most humbled to be entrusted with these precious souls which the LORD has given my wife Grace and myself, to be called our own. Lk 12:48 … For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required - reminds me of my awesome responsibility and accountability to the LORD, not only as a father to them but also as the head of the family. Thus, I do not only have to provide and care for the family, I also need to guide and lead the family in the right direction, in the way of the Lord. It is a very awesome and challenging task but the Word of God is the true Guide and the Holy Spirit my strength.   

I thank God also for a godly wife who is serious about honouring God and that adds strength to the spiritual leadership in the family (Eccl 4:9  Two are better than one: because they have a good reward for their labor/ Eccl 4:12  And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken). This tripartite union (together with God) has enabled the family to grow spiritually over the years.  

Although Grace and I are both working, we make sure our children are disciplined not only in their studies and CCA but also in their daily QT and Bible reading. 

It is a family commitment to have Family Worship every Sunday night with me sharing a short devotion and ending in prayer for the whole family. Grace and I also teach the children the importance of Christian fellowship by taking part regularly in the monthly Family Worship programme of Life Church and the Thomsom NBC. In addition, Grace and I are also serving actively in various capacities in the church, to set an example for the children that true discipleship involves commitment and service (which we learnt during our days in the YF and YAF).  

Grace and I were delighted when our eldest daughter requested for reaffirmation of faith  at the age of twelve. And of her own accord, she will ask permission to attend LTF if she does not have violin class on Saturday. She also serves in the Youth Choir and wanted to help out in the June VBS but because of some reason was not able to. PARENTING is tough, CHRISTIAN PARENTING is even tougher. But by the grace and help of God, if we honour God, He will honor us (1Sam 2:30).  

Psalm 37: 4 -5

Dn Victor Loo