Issue 4 (27 Feb 2005)

Dear Readers, 

In this issue, the Lively Stones continues to explore the foundation of the family unit  and also tell you about the Sunday School’s Primary Department. 

Perhaps more than 75% of the husbands around us would say that it is important to love his wife. Did you realise that God commanded the husband to love his wife? It is not a choice.  

We often hear wives lamenting that they do not feel loved by their husbands.  A sister-in-Christ once shared with me that men and women use different love language. Husbands and wives must work in this area together to find out how you show and communicate your love. 

Today, the Primary Department of Sunday School will praise God with 2 songs during the 10.45 worship and also invite little children to join them every Sunday to learn God’s word. 

SL

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Husbands Love Your Wives 

Two essential ingredients needful for a successful marriage are, a woman’s submission to her husband in the Lord and a man’s commitment to sacrificially love his wife and provide for her everything he would for himself. Before the Fall, it was very natural for Adam to love his wife. In fact, a careful reading of Genesis 5:2 would reveal that Adam did not mind Eve to share his name—God “called their name Adam, in the day when they were created”—for there was this unblemished and consuming love for her.

But after the Fall, men are suppressing women, battering them down and turning them into commodities that satisfy their lust. Satan knew full well that marriage is always the foundation of right human relations. The home is the fabric of the church and society and the nation. But this foundation is constantly attacked by polygamy, adultery, homosexuality, fornication, incest, prostitution and other evil sexual sins.

A marriage would not be able to work well without the grace and power of God. As the head of the house, husbands are to be fully aware that they are never to allow the foundation of marriage and home be bulldozed by Satan. Husbands are to constantly check themselves against the authoritative Word of God on how to love their wives and their children.

The primary duty of the husband is to love his wife (cf. Gen 2:24; Gen 24:67; Deut 24:5; Prov 5:18-19; Eph 5:28; Col 3:19; 1 Peter 3:7). The husband’s love of his wife should never wane through time. It must remain steadfast and strong.

Paul’s instruction to husbands is summed up in the opening sentence of Ephesians 5:25; “Husbands, love your wives.” The word love is agapao, which means the strongest, the most intimate, and the most far-reaching love that a husband should have for his wife.  The husband is expected to be a leader but most important to be a lover. Both complement one another. A loving husband will elucidate a submissive wife. He is not commanded to rule his wife or subject his wife. He is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. Paul wanted husbands to have the qualities of love that Christ manifested for the Church. There are four qualities. 

LOVE YOUR WIFE SACRIFICIALLY

The love of Christ for the Church is a sacrificial love for “He gave Himself for it.” Christ descended from Heaven and divest of His shekinah glory to live as a man without sin and to undergo sufferings and bear the sin of the whole world.

He loves the church enough to die. Such sacrificial love is to characterize the love of a husband for his wife. Such is the commitment and the length, breadth and depth of love a husband must have for his wife. No matter how tiring after a hard day’s work, husbands are to give that self-sacrificial love for their wives. Sitting down and communicating with their wives, relating ordinary or extraordinary events in the office, not criticizing her for not keeping the house tidy, offering to clean up the kids’ diapers, running errands for the family or bringing the whole family out for desserts or a stroll at the park would make the wife feel valued and appreciated.  

LOVE YOUR WIFE WITH A PURIFYING LOVE

Ephesians 5:26,27 exhorted husbands to love their wives to the extent that the wives’ purity should be their supreme concern. Husbands are to do everything in their power to maintain the wives’ virtue, purity and holiness. Love must always seek to purify. He would never do anything that would lead her or provoke her to sin. Husbands should never allow themselves to tell dirty jokes or to watch obscene tapes. They are to admonish wives who under dress or have hemlines too far above their knees. Fashion should never be at the expense of godliness and purity which God demands. 

LOVE YOUR WIFE WITH A CARING LOVE

In Ephesians 5:28, husbands are to meet their wives’ needs. Husbands are God’s agents to meet them. The husband is always the provider, the protector and the preserver. He is to care for his wife like he cares for his own body. He is to be sensitive and not too engrossed with his work or business ventures. He is to make sure that his wife feels loved and appreciated. Besides fulfilling the conjugal relationship, simple gestures of appreciation would be much appreciated like buying the wife a small gift or flowers. The husband is to care not only for his wife’s physical needs but also her spiritual needs. He is to nourish his wife spiritually in daily devotions together, encouraging her with God’s Word and building her up in the faith. 

LOVE YOUR WIFE WITH AN UNBREAKABLE LOVE

According to Ephesians 5:31, the husband’s love for the wife is to be unbreakable; for the husband and wife are members of Christ’s body which is indivisible. The husband and wife are to become one flesh. They are to cleave to one another. They are not to let external factors to ruin their marriage. Only till death do they part. To have an unbreakable love, there must be forgiveness. The husband must follow the example of Christ, that he will be willing to forgive 70 times 7 times and be willing be the first one to initiate the apology even when he thinks he is right. A husband who is willing to forgive releases his hurt and anger.  

CONCLUSION

The husband has no excuse to God that he does not love his wife anymore. He cannot tell God, “I have decided to stop loving my wife.” This is total disobedience to God. We must love our wives as Christ love the Church and gave Himself up for it. 

Quek Keng Khwang

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Primary Department Testimonies

Christina Toh:-

"I thank God for giving me an opportunity to serve Him in the Sunday school. As a mother to my own 3 children. I have come to realise that Sunday school is an important part of a child's growth in the Lord.  We should place a greater emphasis on a child's spiritual success as compared to his academic success or even more, as this is what they will be able to carry to heaven." 

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Lim Hui Min 

"Thank God for a year of service in the nursery SS class.

Having not taught nursery kids before (used to teach kids who were at least 5 yrs old), must confess that the 1st few months were pretty trying months for me. I discovered only at my 1st lesson that 4 year olds do not spell nor reason very much, and that they still cry for mummies! These were definitely alien & very humbling to someone who had thought she could handle young children reasonably well :P. But thank God these served to drive me to more prayer and dependence on the Lord. Thank God for also a co-teacher in Amy who was very experienced with children.

I am thankful that at the end of a year to see the children grow to know and love God a little more. This was evidenced when last Sunday, one of the boys said that he wants to be g-o-o-d good by listening to mummy, playing with his brother, sharing things with others. I am looking forward to spending another year with them, and praying too that the Lord would grant much grace and help to be a faithful SS teacher."

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Irene

I have enjoyed teaching the same students for about 20 months.  It has been a joy to see these students growing spiritually and especially during the last few months almost all students could recite their memory verses as well. 

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Tok Ling & Elsie

Thank God for allowing us to serve Him in Primary Department for several years.  It is a joy and privilege to teach and guide the little ones.  However, it is also at times a challenge because some are temperamental and have short attention span.  God has given us passion and patience to handle them.  We use the Bible stories to draw out lessons to help them to apply in their living.  We also teach them how to pray and recite memory verses every Lord’s Day.  In doing so, we pray that the children will grow in the knowledge of the Lord and walk closely with Him. 

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Rhoda

When it comes to craft work and creativity, I have always scored a zero –if not sub-zero.  But since I began telling bible stories to the two’s and three’s in Pre-Nursery, things began to take a better turn…. 

For example, in order to get a door for one of the stories, I found myself – and my husband – scavenging for a large cardboard at the backyard of grocery stores and NTUCs.  I have also become more environmental friendly in that I began to recycle quite a number of seemingly waste materials into useful props for my stories.  Needless to say, I have many occasion borrowed and begged for toys from my two kindergarten-age children.  The latter is the most meaningful experience for my children and me.

First of all, my children would ask me, “Mummy, why do you need our toys for church?’  That gave me an excellent opportunity of teaching them and sharing with them about serving God by telling Bible stories to other children.  And when it was difficult for them to lend me their favourite toys, I would take the opportunity to share with them James 1:17 “Every good and perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights…”.  I could hence share with them that God gives us many good and beautiful things, and even favourite toys that we are so fond of, so that we can use them to serve God.  And of course there were many occasions when I let my two girls practice their fine motor skills by using scissors to cut out shapes and figures –which of course did not turn out very fine. 

As I looked back, I thank God for giving me an avenue to serve Him by doing what I do at home in church (i.e. to tell Bible stories to young children).  But most of all, I thank Him for creating opportunities and occasions for me to nurture and bond with my own children through all the Sunday School preparations. 

Much indebted to Him,

Rhoda