Issue 9 (8 May 2005) 

Mom's The Best!

 The Key to Motherhood by Audrey Seah 

The key to a successful motherhood is in trusting God each step of the way, and personally the most prominent feature of trust is finance. I grew up in a poor family and there was always a sense of money being equal to security. So, when I became a mother, the sense became more acute as we needed to provide for more than just ourselves. What about a child’s future? There was a question of whether I should give up my job to care for the family. However, we took a step of faith, remembering God has promised that if we honour Him, He will honour us. After 20 years of being a mother, I want to testify that God has never failed us. Instead, He has showered us with so many blessings, including financially. Truly our God is faithful! 

Always keep in mind that the mother is not alone. Besides God, she has her husband. It takes that team to go through trials together in order to be successful as parents. This way, we can learn and grow together.  How wonderful it is to be able to worship, serve and honour God together. 

Balancing Motherhood and Work by Grace Loo 

I believe balancing work and family is always a great struggle for working mums. In order to spend more time with my children, they nap in the afternoon so that we can spend more time together at night. My nights and weekends are filled with their activities, such as schoolwork revision, violin practices and library visits. 

As a Christian mother, I feel my primary focus should be on my family rather than on career. At the same time, I realize that declining work responsibilities and career progression does not mean I spend less time at work – in fact, it is often construed as “not committed”. Thus as the Lord leads, be it a new appointment or a stepping down from one, I learn to submit to His direction and will. 

Whether a mother is working or not, what she aspires for her child and the ability/ character of the child determines how much time and effort she spends on each child. Although it often is an energy-zapping and trying process to train a child, my view is that it is simply our God-given duty to do so. 

I have often failed to be as patient with them as God has been with me, and to love them as God has loved me. But I am comforted to know that God understands my weaknesses, limitations and fatigue. I continue to pray that God will grant me much wisdom and love to raise these FOUR precious souls He has entrusted to my care, and to be a godly example to them.  

Every Child is God’s Wonderful Creation!! by Tern Seo Ping 

In God’s perfect timing, He blessed us with three lovely kids – Paul, Mark and Grace. As we beheld each newborn life, we marvelled at God’s wonderful creation. Like all parents, our hearts were filled with tremendous joy, pride and thanksgiving.

   With each child that God blessed us with, God also used them as opportunities to spiritually instruct, strengthen and help us to grow. Within days, weeks and years of their births respectively, God through the doctors would reveal to us that He had specially wrought each child (Psalm 139:15,16) and that each would be special in his/her own ways.

   On day 3 of Paul’s birth, the pediatrician walked into my hospital room and told us that Paul’s heartbeat was irregular. Within that day, it was confirmed that Paul was born with ventricular septal defect (hole-in-heart). Next was Grace - she was diagnosed as having profound hearing loss in week 5 of her birth. A few months after Grace’s cochlear implant operation, Mark aged 6 then, suddenly came down with a series of seizures. EEGs and MRI subsequently confirmed that Mark was epileptic.

   Every parent hopes to have a healthy child. Finding out that a child has a medical problem or disability can be very painful. Yes, I was heart-broken, scared, discouraged and anxious. And I did struggle with the questions, “Why me?”, “Why my child?” But I thank God that my husband, Joseph, is a pillar of spiritual strength. “When God gives us a test, we should take it,” he would say. We would fervently pray for God’s mercy and grace for the children but he refuses to worry.

   Over the years, I have indeed learnt to run to Jesus and let Him handle everything for me. “I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.” Psalm 32:8. It is so much easier that way. At each moment when I needed it, God has given me the courage to do what He confirmed in my heart as right, the strength to persevere, the assurances to ease my worries and eventually, the joys of seeing each child succeed. The fears and anxieties have gone because God has shown me time and time again that He is in control and that He has perfect plans for them (Jer 29:11). Despite their medical prognosis, each of them has way surpassed their respective doctors’ expectations. Christ has exceedingly abundantly blessed them, above all that we asked or thought was possible (Eph 3 :20).

   Paul is now Secondary Two in RI and involved in a host of CCAs. Mark is Primary Six in ACJS, also faring very well, being blessed with compassionate teachers. Grace is Primary Two in Nanyang Primary, integrating very well in a normal educational environment and chattering away like any normal child.

   The children too know that it is Christ who has enabled them (Phil 4:13). Each success or blessing they receive, they know it came from Christ. Whenever we ask them, “Have you thanked God?” they would always reply “Yes”. They need no reminder! As parents, we are thankful that God in His grace has allowed each of them, so young in their lives, to experience how His grace is sufficient for them, and His strength is made perfect in their weakness (2Cor 12:9).

   Even as I write this and reflect on these years of parenting, I am convinced that God had chosen our children specifically to bless our family. Each of our children brought certain strengths and weaknesses to our family and God had used both to teach us so many lessons.

   God showed us that we could make it with His help, His strength and His people. We have learnt to seek God and dig into His Word more because we see clearly just how much we need Him. We have learnt to have more faith, more compassion and more patience. We have a whole circle of friends and acquaintances (in the Parent Support Groups) that we would have missed out if not for each of our special kids. Through God’s blessings in our children’s lives, each of our children has in turn given much hope to a lot of grieving parents. The hospitals refer new parents to us – and when these parents see where our kids are now, despite what the doctors had told us in the beginning - they are filled with renewed hope that their own children can similarly overcome their medical problems and succeed.

   Above all, we have learnt that we are not alone in this journey. God has constantly sent His angels along the way to look out and help us. We thank all of you who have reached out to us and our children and provided love and assurance. We are especially grateful to all the Sunday School teachers and Worship leaders who have shown tremendous understanding and patience towards Mark and Grace. Little gestures like moving Grace in front means a lot in helping her hear better with much less effort.  And accepting Mark’s inconsistent behavior with patience and love has helped him settle in positively into Sunday school and Junior Worship.

   Indeed, undeserving as we have been, God has been very good to us. Our hearts are filled with praise and thanksgiving. “Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; and his greatness is unsearchable.” Psalm145:3. To God be all glory and honour. Amen. 

I Asked God

(Author Unknown)

I asked God to take away my pain.
God said, No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.
       
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.   
God said, No. Her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience.  
God said, No. Patience is a by-product of tribulations, it isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness.  
God said, No. I give you blessings, Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.  
God said, No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.  
God said, No. You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.  
God said, No. I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things.

I asked God to help me Love others, as much as he loves me. 
God said... Ahhhh, finally you have the idea. 

Motherhood My Way?.….God’s Way by Rhoda Lim 

Shortly after my first daughter was born, I received an email which said: “I guess you must be enjoying motherhood now.”  To that email, I replied in absolute disbelief, “You got to be joking.  How could I be enjoying motherhood when my life is thrown into total disarray?” 

You see, until the day before my first daughter was born, I was leading a normal life with regular — if not even fixed — routines.  Immediately after my first daughter was born, I subscribed to the popular, highly recommended practice of feed-on-demand breastfeeding.  This meant that my daughter could sleep for a full three hours after a feed, or she could sleep as briefly as ½ hour.  This also meant that after a feed, I didn’t even dare venture out of the house for a one-hour errand for fear that she might wake up crying for a feed before I reached home. 

Thank God that such feed-on-demand chaos (and slavery) was put to a stop after a pastor’s wife lent me a book on baby-feeding and child-upbringing based on Christian principles.  From this book, I learned that even breastfeeding can be done in a timed, disciplined and orderly manner.  At this juncture, some readers may vehemently argue that the problem might not lie in feed-on-demand breastfeeding, but in me!  To this correction, I neither deny nor refute — I could very well be one of those sincere but misled mothers who did not do the right thing the right way. 

But for me, the whole mismanaged breastfeeding episode taught me one important lesson.  I must always weigh all secular teachings and practices against God’s Word — no matter how widely taught, how widely accepted and how firmly established they are.  Thank God too that this “What does God’s Word say” principle helps me to have clear perspectives and firm convictions on what I want for my children — ranging from leisurely activities to enrichment classes.  In fact, each time I call out my elder daughter’s name (which is a diminutive of the word “Peregrine”, which means “pilgrim”, “stranger” or “foreigner”), I’m reminded of my sober responsibility of bringing up children who know that heaven is their eternal home, and that whatever they do, they are answerable and accountable to their Heavenly Father. 

Another aspect of my Christian faith enhanced through motherhood is to trust and thank God for whatever He deems fit to give to us.  You see, my two daughters have severe and wide-ranging food allergies (in the form of hives and swelling) when other children could thrive on normal food such as bread, pasta, cakes and ice-cream.  They would have wheezing and outbreak of rashes too if exposed to cigarette smoke, heat and dust when other children seem to be coping well.  Of course, I still do not know why such un-pleasantries should be given to my two daughters when both mummy and daddy could and never fail to savour everything that is on the table.  But my faith in God enables me to know that He always gives me what is best for me, and He would also definitely give my two daughters what is best for them. 

Finally, for mummies who have a sincere desire of wanting their children to grow up God’s way, I would personally recommend this book “Growing Up God’s Way” by John A. Stormer.  I have benefited much from it, and I hope you would likewise enjoy reading this book too. 

The Joy of Motherhood

By Lydia Lau 

The joy of motherhood began

When I discovered I was pregnant

My heart pounded in a rhythm of madness

It was a gift from Heaven

My belly grew bigger and bigger

I walked like a penguin

I was curious and started to wonder

Who is growing within

On the day when baby arrived

I anticipated a lot of pain

No pethidine no epidural just plain nerve

Told myself “Never again”

Life with baby was lots of fun

Talked and played with him all day long

Didn’t mind the dirty diapers and sleepless nights

I’d rock him to bed singing nursery songs

The pains of labour and travail

By then I could vaguely remember

My Gracious God gave me another child

A girl so fair and tender

I enjoyed being with my children

Though they may be trying some days

Their innocent minds and childlike faith

Put to shame my sinful ways

The years went by so quickly

My babies are now in their teens

I thank God they are brought up in His Word

Leading and guiding them from within 

Enjoy Motherhood... by Ng Soon Choo 

I’ll like to share some quotes from “God’s Little Instruction Book For Mom” which is a collection of simple, humorous and inspirational sayings.  Each quote includes a verse from Scripture that reveals what God’s Word has to say about that topic.  This book was given to me by a dear sister when my daughter came along.  It has given me cause to ponder on motherhood – one of life’s challenging jobs, but has also made me laugh. 

A little boy, age eight, gave a profound definition of parenthood: “Parents are just baby-sitters for God.”

For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him: Therefore also I have lent him to the LORD; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the LORD.……. (1 Samuel 1:27-28)

As a mother, my job is to take care of the possible and trust God with the impossible.

And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee. (Psalms 9:10)

Never, never be too proud to say, “I’m sorry”, to your child when you’ve made a mistake.

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another………….

(James 5:16)

Worry is like a rocking chair.  It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. (1 Peter 5:7)

Remember, when your child has a tantrum, don’t have one of your own.

And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. (1 Corinthians 9:25a)

Some humourous quotes:

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine…….. (Proverbs 17:22)

To every thing there is a season, ………. a time to laugh………  (Ecclesiastes 3:1,4)

Children are a great comfort in your old age – and they help you reach it faster, too.

A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.

Parents of teens and parents of babies have something in common.  The spend a great deal of time trying to get their kids to talk.

May some of these delightful yet practical truths minister to you.