Family

Introduction

Why a family resource page?  It has been often said that the family is the most important institution in the nation.  But never has this sentiment been as greatly emphasized in our history as a nation than now in recent times.  Indeed, the family is the most important institution because it is the first environment to which every person is exposed; it is the primary influence of a person, especially in his early formative years.  And failure of the family to influence and mould the child positively has contributed to the moral and ethical breakdown of societies.  Even the expert opinions of sociologists and psychologists point to the truth of this statement.  Counselors and mental health workers increasingly have to rely on Family Therapy to deal with the problems of the clients, seeing as how many adult conflicts and problems are actually conflicts and problems not resolved in youth within the family.  Of course, it is not surprising to find such delinquency and immaturity in the world.  And sadly, it is not surprising to find such worldliness and worldly problems in the church, as families capitulate their God-given rights.  More than ever, there is need for a family resource page, where families can be encouraged and taught to raise up Godly homes and to revive the Covenant family.  

And one of the main emphases of this resource page is on the subject and discipline of Family Worship.  According to the Westminster Directory of Family Worship, we are told that “BESIDES the publick worship in congregations, mercifully established in this land in great purity, it is expedient and necessary that secret worship of each person alone, and private worship of families, be pressed and set up; that, with national reformation, the profession and power of godliness, both personal and domestick, be advanced.”  Herein, it is suggested that national and ecclesiastical revival finds its genesis in the home.  And this is biblical. 

The theological foundations of family worship is in Deuteronomy 4:9,10 where believers are told to “keep thy soul diligently…[and to]…teach them thy sons, and thy sons’ sons when the Lord said unto me, Gather me the people together, and I will make them hear my words, that they may learn to fear me all the days that they shall live upon the earth, and that they may teach their children.” 

It is also in Deuteronomy 6:4-7 where the words which God had commanded believers should be taught diligently to their children, that they should “talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”  The chief Christian educators of our children are their parents, who have been given this sacred duty.

Psalm 78:2-7 also teaches this, especially when it says regarding the law “which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: that the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born, who should arise and declare them to their children: that they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments.” 

According to Dr Joel Beeke, “Every church desires growth. Surprisingly few churches, however, seek to promote internal church growth by stressing the need to raise children in covenantal truth. Few seriously grapple with why many adolescents become nominal members with mere notional faith or abandon evangelical truth for unbiblical doctrine and modes of worship. I believe one major reason for this failure is the lack of stress upon family worship. In many churches and homes family worship is an optional thing, or at most a superficial exercise such as a brief table grace before meals. Consequently, many children grow up with no experience or impression of Christian faith and worship as a daily reality.”

“Would we see revival among our children? Let us remember that God often uses the restoration of family worship to usher in church revival. For example, the 1677 church covenant of the Puritan congregation in Dorchester, Massachusetts, included the commitment ‘to reform our families, engaging ourselves to a conscientious care to set before us and to maintain the worship of God in them; and to walk in our houses with perfect hearts in a faithful discharge of all domestic duties, educating, instructing, and charging our children and households to keep the ways of the Lord.’”

Douglas Kelly says that “Family religion, which depends not a little on the household head daily leading the family before God in worship, is one of the most powerful structures that the covenant-keeping God has given for the expansion of redemption through the generations, so that countless multitudes may be brought into communion with and worship” of God. 

So may these resources help all Lifers to build up their families in the fear and admonition of the Lord; that Family Worship would not be an optional exercise but a time of day and activity well-sought after by Godly parents and children.  Amen.

30 Questions for Married Christian Couples

I. A Successful Marriage Takes Work

1.      What kind of “work” makes a marriage successful? (cf. Galatians 6:2; Ephesians 4:2) 

2.      Share one thing you have done in your marriage that has contributed to its success.

 

 

II. God Makes No Mistakes In Choosing Our Life Partner

3.      Is it possible for a Christian to choose the wrong partner, after satisfying all the parameters of Scripture? (cf. Genesis 24:8,14) What are the implications of each answer?

4.      How can this help in solving marriage problems?

 

III. A Mate’s Imperfections May Be a Tool For Christian Growth

5.      Can a relationship flourish if both parties are just as strong-willed? (cf. Amos 3:3)

6.      Why are wives specifically given the injunction to submit to their spouses? (cf. Ephesians 5:22)

7.      How has your marriage made you grow spiritually thus far?

 

IV. Forgiveness Is Preferred to Permitted Divorce

8.      Are there situations in which it will be difficult or even impossible to forgive?

9.      What can help a Christian to forgive his/her spouse? (cf. Ephesians 4:32)

V. Problems Should Not Be Exaggerated Nor Ignored

10.  How can one avoid attacking the person rather than the problem? (cf. 1 Corinthians 1:2)

11.  What are some potential problem areas in marriage that must be handled properly? 

VI. God Allows Us to Enjoy the Company of Those We Love

12.  How can we avoid taking our loved ones for granted?

13.  What are some ways of treasuring our loved ones? (cf. 1 Peter 3:7; Deuteronomy 24:5)

 

VII. One Flesh Unity 

14.  What guidelines does the Scripture provide for the physical relationship in marriage? (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)

15.  Does the level of a couple’s physical intimacy in a marriage reflect the quality of their marriage?

 

VIII. Balancing Between Love and Leadership

16.  Where can we find good role models of love and leadership? (cf. Titus 2:6,7)

17.  What can fathers do to excel in the management of people in their household rather than just in the management of things? (Philippians 2:3-5)

18.  Why do husbands sometimes complain that they do not understand their wives? (1 Peter 3:7)

 

IX. Responsible Actions In Leadership

19.  How would the process of planning, deciding, organising, delegating, and supervising be applied in a family? Think of some situations, e.g. going on a family vacation.

20.  Share any useful steps you have discovered that can help to carry out responsible actions in family leadership.

 

X. How Not To Be a Spectator

21.  What are some common reasons why men become spectators in their marriage? 
What can they do to avoid this? (cf. 2 Timothy 1:6,7)

22.  How can wives help their husbands who have become spectators?

 

XI. Questioning Decisions

23.  What can husbands do to ensure that their decisions will not be questioned after they are made? (Proverbs 11:14; 15:22; 24:6)

24.  How should husbands and wives react to family decisions that turn out to be wrong? (cf. Ecclesiastes 4:9,10)

 

XII. How Much to Sacrifice for The Family

25.  How should marriage and family considerations affect one’s choice of employment and recreation? (Luke 14:28-30)

26.  What limits should husbands place on the workload they choose to accept in their place of work, that would keep them from neglecting their leadership role at home?

 

XIII. Communicating Love

27.  What are the ways of communicating love? (1 Corinthians 13:1-7)

28.  Share any difficulties or successes you have had in communicating love to your spouse.

29.  Share some ways in which your spouse successfully communicated love to you.

 

XIV. Handling Bitterness

30. How does one overcome negative thoughts or feelings about one’s spouse? (cf. Genesis 50:20,21; 1 Peter 4:8)

20 Questions for Christian Parents

I. Helping children to develop to their fullest potential

1.      How should we regard our children? (Psalm 127:3-5)

2.      How can we discover each child’s unique potential and hidden talents? 

3.      How do we help a child to become all that God wants him to be? (cf. Luke 2:52) 

4.      When should we start to bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord? (cf. 2 Timothy 3:15; Ecclesiastes 12:1)

 

II. Setting Goals and Self-discipline

5.      What are some benefits and hazards of setting goals for children?

6.      Think of some attainable spiritual goals that we can motivate our children to achieve.(cf. Proverbs 22:6)

7.      How often should we pray for our children and what should we pray for them? (cf. 2 Peter 3:18)

 

III. Overprotection of Children

8.      What limits should we observe in protecting our children from every inconvenience, discomfort, etc, to avoid making them ‘too soft’? (cf. Philippians 4:12)

9.      What are some ways to help a child to overcome his anxieties and fears? E.g. seeing a dentist. (cf. Psalm 56:3; 2 Corinthians 4:17)

 

IV. Responding to Success and Failure

10.  How did you respond to your child’s successes in the past? How should you have responded? (cf. Proverbs 25:11)

11.  How can we avoid putting too much pressure on our children to succeed?

12.  What are some ways to help your child to cope with failure? (cf. The response of the prodigal son’s father in Luke 15:20-22)

 

V. Minimising the Impact of Peer Influence

13.  How can we know whether we are giving sufficient attention and approval to our children? (cf. Proverbs 29:15)

14.  How do we keep the balance between wisely monitoring our child’s peer influence, and giving him ‘enough personal space’? (1 Corinthians 15:33)

 

VI. Providing Home Conditions that Encourage Good Behaviour

15.  In what ways can we regulate the input of the mass media (TV, Internet, Newspapers, magazines and books) into our homes?

16.  How can we help children to deal with the input of the mass media that they receive outside our homes?

 

VII. How to Correct Misbehaviour

17.  How should the rod of correction be applied? (cf. Proverbs 13:24; Hebrews 12:6,7)

18.  How do we avoid being perceived by our children as ‘naggy parents’?

19.  How important is consistency in disciplining children, and how can this be implemented?

20.  How would you respond to your child if he uses Colossians 3:21 against you when you attempt to correct him?

19 Helpful Thoughts on Rearing Children for God

By Pastor Terry Coomer, Director of For the Love of the Family Ministries.

The goal of every Christian parent in life should not to be to rear a "good  kid" or have students who are excelling academically, are great athletes,  and so forth. The goal is to equip our children, these young saints "for  the work of the ministry" (Ephesians 4:12, Mark 10:45). Our goal as  Christian parents is to train them to stay on the road of usefulness to  God. If, in the end, they are unusable to Christ, they are not handling  life spiritually and wisely, both they and we have failed.

 

1. Make sure to encourage your children to read biographies and  autobiographies of Christians of the past. As a young Christian I immersed  myself in these books and they were a blessing to my life. We encouraged  our children to read these books and it helped them to see how God had  worked in other Christian's lives.

2. Make sure your children hear you pray, and in your prayer let them hear  you calling their name to God. Teach your children how to pray.

3. Make sure you show your children how to do personal devotions and that  they see you read the Bible and do personal devotions. Make sure you read  and explain the Bible to your children. Your personal, intimate, and real  spiritual relationship with God will be the most important influence in  rearing your children for God. The second will be conveying to your  children the way to have that relationship and for them to have an  intimate, personal, passionate relationship with the Lord.

4. Make sure you put God first in your life and giving. Make sure that you  explain that all money is God's money not just 10 percent. Make sure that  you explain giving to the Lord to your children and that your children see  you give to the Lord. As your children are given money or work for money  make sure they understand that giving begins at an early age.

5. Make sure your children see you submit yourself to the Holy Spirit.  Encourage them to submit themselves to the Holy Spirit. As the Lord works  in your life it does not hurt the children to see you come forward in a  service and submit yourself more fully to God.

6. Make sure you share your personal testimony of salvation with your  children. Tell them how you got saved. Pray earnestly for your children to  be saved and make sure they understand the gospel. Seek to see your  children come to know Christ at an early age.

7. Make sure your children see you give out gospel tracts to others. Take  them on visitation with you.

8. Make sure your children hear you give a clear presentation of the gospel  to an unsaved person. Teach your children how to give that presentation.

9. Make sure your children hear you tell others how much your local church  means to you. Make sure they understand the importance of faithful church  attendance.

10. Make sure your children hear you and your wife tell each other that you  love each other.

11. Make sure your children hear you express gratitude to God for His  blessing in your life and family.

12. Make sure you tell your children you love them often and consistently.

13. Make sure you explain Bible truth to your children and make practical  application of that truth in the daily activities of life.

14. Make sure you explain the great doctrinal truths of the Bible to your  children. It is very important to explain how the Holy Spirit works in your  life. Explain what it means to be filled (controlled by the Holy Spirit).

15. Make sure you are attending a good, sound Bible preaching and teaching  church. Make sure the emphasis of the church is upon growing spiritually,  winning the lost, and not activity orientation. Do not look for a church  because of the activities it has for children. Look for a church that has  emphasis on teaching spiritual truth to you and your family. Look for a  church that has the ministry of the Word of God as their primary emphasis.  Look for a church that encourages godliness and holy living. Look for a  church that does not have emphasis on ungodly music (music that appeals to  the flesh rather than the spirit) such as contemporary Christian music,  southern gospel music and an overall emphasis on music instead of God's  Word. Many churches worship youth groups and music rather than God. (By the  way that is idolatry). Look for a church that has an emphasis on hymn music.

16. Make sure to guard your children from the worldly television  influences, worldly music, and worldly peer and ungodly friendship  influences. Make sure to not allow your children to start concentrating on  the opposite sex at an early age. Make sure you are the most important  influence in your children's life.

17. Make sure you live a holy life separate from worldliness, evil, and  ungodliness. Make sure your life is a testimony of holiness not only at  church but home as well.

18. Make sure your children are educated in a Biblical, Godly, Christian,  wholesome atmosphere. Do not be deceived that educating your children in  the world's system (which is the devil's system) will not affect your  children.

19. Make sure you are seeking to develop godly Christian character in your  children's lives by proper discipline. A child must learn to obey the first  time. A child must learn to never have to be told more than once to obey.  Make sure to discipline correctly and consistently. Make sure you as a  parent pay attention and work at proper discipline. It is your  responsibility to teach your child how to concentrate. Make sure you always  discipline improper attitude and reaction.

Psalm 127:3 "Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord: (means given to us by  God for safe keeping for Him) and the fruit of the womb is his reward."

Contact Us

  • Phone / Whatsapp: 65 6594 9399
  • Email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Our Location

  • 9A Gilstead Road Singapore 309063
  • Mailing Add: 10 Gilstead Road Singapore 309064
Top