By Rev Charles Seet

Preached at Life BPC 8am & 11am Svc

Text: 

2 Corinthians 10:7-18

In 1998 the first ever interplanetary weather satellite was launched to study the climate of the planet Mars. It was a joint venture of NASA and Lockheed. However it came too close to the planet and disintegrated. What caused this disaster? Investigations showed that an error was made because NASA had used Metric units (newton) to measure force in all its calculations while its partner, Lockheed had used Imperial units (pound). This error cost a total of US$125 million. This event illustrates the damage caused by using a wrong standard of measurement:

Using a wrong standard of measurement can also produce damaging results in God’s kingdom. One person who bore the brunt of such an error was the Apostle Paul. In our passage we will see how Paul corrected the Corinthians when they applied the wrong standard of measurement to him and to some false teachers.

We have seen that the church at Corinth had many problems mainly because many of its members had brought their former sinful practices and attitudes into the church. This led to divisions, immoral behaviour, and improper worship. All of this was compounded by the arrival of some men from Jerusalem who claimed to be Christians. They were actually false teachers who were trying to influence the members to reject Paul’s teaching. In order to do this, they cast doubts on his integrity and apostleship, and they claimed that Paul was merely a paper tiger – powerful in his writing, but ineffective when he was present.

The Corinthians were too gullible. They accepted what these false teachers said about him. This led Paul to write the last four chapters of this epistle to correct the Corinthians and to defend himself against all that the false teachers had said against him. The situation was highly critical, because once Paul’s integrity and apostleship are undermined, all the teaching the Corinthians had received from him would be in doubt. They would hardly bother to listen to him anymore. And worse still, they would easily be led astray by the false teachers.

You may remember that in last Sunday’s sermon we saw that we are engaged in a spiritual war, and we must therefore be careful of Satan’s devices. Well, one crafty device that Satan uses to destroy the flock is to undermine our view of our shepherds. If he can successfully convince us that they are men of doubtful integrity, or weak ability, or void of spiritual authority, we won’t bother to learn from them anymore, and we may then look for other resources to meet our spiritual needs. Hence what Paul wrote here in defence of his apostleship can help us not to fall into this trap, by showing us the right way to evaluate a minister who shepherds the flock.

Paul begins his defence in verses 7 to 9 by declaring that his authority comes directly from the Lord. Paul had received this apostolic authority when he had a personal encounter with the Lord Jesus on the road to Damascus. It was given to him for the purpose of edifying believers through preaching and teaching whenever he was present with them, and through writing to them when he was absent.

In verses 10 and 11 Paul dismisses the charge made by the false teachers that he is merely a paper tiger. He states that what he writes to the Corinthians is fully consistent with what he does whenever he is present with them. This statement is easily borne out through all the experiences they had with him from the time he first came to them.

Paul then goes on the offensive in the verse 12. He dissociates himself from the false teachers and their foolish ways – They attempt to boost their public image by commending themselves, by measuring themselves by themselves, and by comparing themselves among themselves. They also claimed glory and authority for themselves that was not theirs to claim.

In contrast to that, Paul only claims what he can rightfully claim. Thus in verses 13-14 he demarcates the allotment in which he exercises spiritual authority. This allotment includes the Corinthians, since it was God who had led Paul to spearhead the work of the Gospel in Macedonia and Corinth and to plant churches there during his second missionary journey, as recorded in Acts chapters 16-18.

In verses 15-16 Paul describes his hope of bringing the Gospel to the regions beyond Corinth, always being careful not to take any credit for what others had done. This would include places such as Rome and Spain. But before doing that he must first ensure that the Corinthians were spiritually strong and well-grounded in their faith.

In verses 17-18 Paul concludes this entire section of his defence by designating all the glory for any work to the Lord alone. This ends the section nicely by returning back to where Paul had started from: The Lord, who was the source of his authority.

Now that we understand what the text means, let us see what we can learn from it. We will discover three useful things to remember whenever we evaluate those who serve God as ministers. These things are general principles which are also useful to evaluate ourselves. The first thing to remember is that…

1. External Appearance is Most Unreliable (vv.7-11)

As v.7 says, “Do ye look on things after the outward appearance?” The Corinthians were deceived by what they saw of the false teachers – especially their outward appearance. At the same time, they were misled by these false teachers to despise what they saw of Paul, as seen in v.10 – “For his letters, say they, are weighty and powerful; but his bodily presence is weak, and his speech contemptible.”These verses warn us against making two common mistakes, the first warning is …

Do not be deceived by an impressive appearance. Not everything that looksgood on the outside is good, because looks can easily deceive. One example of this is found in 1 Samuel 16:7. Eliab was so impressive that Samuel thought he must surely be the one chosen as the next king of Israel – “But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” Outward appearance can easily deceive anyone.

Today it is getting a lot harder to tell what is true from what is false. Many people claim to speak for God. But are they really sent by God? Listen to what Jesus said in Matthew 7:15 – “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” Interestingly, sheepskin was the uniform of the shepherd and also of the prophet in ancient Israel. So these pretenders actually did not come disguised as sheep, but as shepherds so that they may convince the sheep to follow them! Their outward covering makes them look just like real shepherds of the flock.

Many years ago an impressive British preacher came to a church in Singapore and became their regular invited speaker. The members were captivated by his powerful preaching and so they invited their friends to come and listen to him. One of them invited me and I too was impressed by his excellent preaching. But later I was told that he turned against their pastor, took over the leadership and caused that church to split. Then news arrived from his home church in England that he was being disciplined for having an extra-marital affair. And many people then realised that this man was not of God. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and they had failed to discern it! So let us take heed to the warning against being deceived by impressive appearance. The other warning that we must take heed to is...

Do not despise an unimpressive appearance. The Apostle Paul was evidently not impressive outwardly. Listen to what he wrote to the Corinthians in his first epistle: “And I was with you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling.” (2:3) This weakness may be due to a physical ailment which he called ‘a thorn in the flesh’(12:7). Paul’s appearance would probably not make a good impression on most people. In a second-century work entitled The Acts of Paul and Thecla, Paul is described as small, short, bow-legged, man with eye-brows knit together. A fourth century document describes him as being bald-headed and hook-nosed.

If you were to meet Paul for the very first time perhaps you may exclaim, ‘Is this man really the Apostle Paul? I can’t believe it!’ And if you hear him preach you may be surprised to find that he is not as polished or eloquent as you had imagined. In 2 Corinthians 11:6, Paul himself admitted that he is ‘rude in speech’. This means that he was unskilled in speaking, by the standard of the Corinthians who were used to listening to the stirring orations of their Greek rhetoricians.

 But though Paul’s speech was not impressive, everything he said was reliable, honest and true. It is far more important to be trustworthy, truthful and sincere than to be impressive in word or in writing. So we should never despise any minister of God who doesn’t speak well or write very well. Don’t apply the world’s standards of speaking or writing to them. God often uses the weak and despised, in order to confound the great and mighty (cf. 1 Corinthians 1:27,28).

Our Lord Jesus Himself was despised and rejected of men. He is described in Isaiah 53 as “a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from Him; He was despised, and we esteemed Him not.” (Isaiah 53:3). This really shows how unreliable it is to evaluate anyone by their external appearance. The next thing we should remember in making an evaluation is that…

2. Selfish Boasting is Most Unwise (vv.12-15a)

Look at v.12 – “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” This verse and the verses after it reveal three foolish ways to speak about onself.

Firstly, It is foolish to commend oneself. This is mentioned again in the first part of v.18 – “For not he that commendeth himself is approved…” Self-commendation or boasting is soundly condemned in God’s Word. E.g. Proverbs 27:2 – “Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips.” It is already bad enough to hear people praising themselves in public – many celebrities and politicians may do that. It becomes utterly repulsive when this is done in church where God alone should be praised. No ministry of God should ever be used to exalt oneself or to parade one’s abilities and achievements before others.

Some may ask, “What is wrong with merely stating some facts that are true about myself?” There is nothing wrong, if the facts about myself are mentioned within the right context, like applying for a particular job that has requirements for certain competencies. The problem arises when those facts are mentioned in order to draw attention to myself and to evoke admiration from others. Then it becomes selfish boasting.

A story is told of a frog that was wondering how he could get away from the cold winter climate. Some wild geese suggested that he migrate with them. The problem, though, was that the frog couldn’t fly. “Just leave it to me,” said the frog. “I’ve got a splendid brain.” He thought about it and then asked two geese to help him by picking up a strong reed, each holding one end. The frog planned to hold on to the reed with his mouth.

In due time the geese and the frog started on their journey. Soon they were passing over a village, and the villagers came out to see the unusual sight. Someone cried out, “Who could have come up with such a clever idea?” This made the frog so puffed up with pride that he exclaimed, “I did it!” The moment he opened his mouth he lost his hold and fell to his death.

It is therefore very foolish to boast about oneself. The one who boasts thinks that he knows himself well. But how can anyone really know himself? If he does, he is just like an examiner who grades his own exam paper; or like a high court judge who judges his own crime. The problem with boasting is that it will always be biased in a person’s own favour, since he cannot see his own faults.

For this reason, Paul dissociates himself from those who were boasting about themselves. He said in v.12 – “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves.” The Corinthians already knew how well they have been blessed by Paul’s ministry to them. But some members were more impressed with the foolish boasting of the false teachers. They had been deceived by them and were now in danger of forsaking the truth which Paul had taught them to follow these teachers.

And so for their sake that Paul had to do what he disliked most – to talk about his own accomplishments, and even to share about a spectacular personal vision he had of being caught up to heaven. All these, which take up most of the next 3 chapters, may seem as if Paul was boasting. But it was not done to elevate himself. He did it only because he loved the Corinthians, and it was necessary for their own good to convince every one of them not to believe what his opponents were saying to discredit him.

These false teachers were not only foolish in commending themselves. They were also foolish to…

Compare themselves with others. (v.12b) This is an utterly false standard to use for measuring ourselves because all it does is create delusions of grandeur. Erasmus once said, “In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.”

Isn’t it quite common for someone who is in the wrong to console himself by saying, “Well, at least I am not as bad as this guy and that guy.”? The Pharisees often fooled themselves like this. One of them even prayed in the Temple,  “God, I thank Thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.” (Luke 18:11).

The only true standard we should ever use to measure ourselves with is Christ. He is the only One we should compare ourselves with. Only then will we have a realistic view of ourselves, and realise how far short we really are. This is in line with the purpose of edifying the body of Christ, “Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:13)

However, instead of comparing themselves with Christ, the false teachers at Corinth compared themselves with others who were just as sinful as themselves. Thus they would remain foolish, and would never be able to rise above their own false standard of measurement. The third foolish thing which they did was to…

Claim credit that belongs to others. In v.15 Paul says that he did not ‘boast of things beyond his measure, that is, in other men’s labours.’ That was what the false teachers at Corinth were doing. They were boasting that the Corinthians had made good spiritual progress as a result of their ministry. But this claim was totally unfounded. Everyone knew that Paul was the real spiritual father of the Corinthians. He was the one who had laboured in their midst for 18 months to lay the foundation of their faith. Thus the false teachers were wrong to take credit for what Paul had done.

Please be careful of being deceived by such people. Some have nothing at all to glory in, but resort to using the work of others to boost their esteem before men. Our church office sometimes receives email requests for financial help from people overseas who claim to be doing some Christian work. They give very glowing reports of their ministries hoping to gain our support. But in many cases, diligent inquiry reveals that very little of what they claim is actually true.

We must also beware of those who bask in the glory of others. They love to talk about the great seminaries they got their degrees, the eminent theologians who had taught them, and the godly pastors they are closely associated with. But can all that make them good ministers of Christ? No!

The only Person that a godly minister would want to be very closely associated with is the Lord Jesus Christ. Like Paul, he would regard all his gains, all his awards and all the recognition he receives but loss, so that he may win Christ! This leads us now to the third and final thing for us to remember in evaluating any minister, or even in evaluating ourselves:

3. Christ-centred Character is Most Useful (vv.15b-18)

This is the true measure of a minister – not his external appearance nor anything that he says about himself. Jesus said, “By their fruits ye shall know them.”(Matthew 7:20) What kind of fruits would Christ-centred character produce in a minister?

Firstly, A true minister loves the Gospel of Christ. This is clearly seen in the hope that Paul expressed in v.16 – ‘To preach the gospel in the regions beyond Corinth’; His zeal for the Gospel is also expressed in Romans 1:16 – “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.”

A true minister knows that the Lord Jesus has entrusted the Gospel to him. Therefore he wants to teach it and defend it faithfully so that people will have the truth of the Gospel that can save them and edify them. He labours hard and makes all necessary personal sacrifices just to build them up with the Gospel. He prayerfully uses every possible means to communicate it well. A true minister will exert all his energies and resources to make Christ known, so that everyone may grow in their knowledge of Christ, in their faith in Christ and in their love for Christ.

Secondly, a true minister glories only in Christ. This is another fruit that Christ-centred character produces in his life, as can be seen in the words of Paul in v.17 – “But he that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.” A true minister boasts only of what Christ has done for him or through him. Whatever gifts, graces or successes he has, he attributes them all to Christ and gives thanks for them!

His greatest desire is to exalt Christ, not himself. Nothing brings greater joy to him than to see Christ pre-eminent in all things. In this, he has the same spirit as John the Baptist who said, “He must increase, but I must decrease.” (John 3:30) Matthew Henry put it very well, “If our diminution or abasement may but in the least contribute to the advancement of Christ’s name, we must cheerfully submit to it, and be content to be anything, to be nothing, so that Christ may be all.”

A true minister seeks to be meek and gentle, like Christ. He does not want to terrify those he ministers to, or destroy them. To do that would be to abuse his authority, and to become lords instead of shepherds over God’s heritage (1 Peter 5:1). A true minister emulates the humility, meekness and gentleness of Christ Himself even in dealing with those who are against him. As Paul expressed in v.1 –“Now I Paul myself beseech you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ…”

Thirdly, a true minister seeks to be commended by Christ. This fruit of his Christ-centred character is found in the last part of v.18 – “For not he that commendeth himself is approved, but whom the Lord commendeth.” Has the Lord ever commended anyone? Yes, He has. When the Lord Jesus was on earth, He commended a Roman centurion for his faith (Matthew 8:10) and a Canaanite woman who sought His help to deliver her demon-possessed daughter (Matthew 15:28).

We should all do our best in the Lord’s service in order to receive His commendation, ‘Well done, thou good and faithful servant!’ (Matthew 25:21) This is the best commendation that anyone who serves Christ can ever receive! His assessment of us is always accurate, trustworthy and objective. Thus, a true minister does not want men’s approval.

In fact, any minister who wants to be faithful to God must be prepared to receive the very opposite from men: Their disapproval and criticism. This was Paul’s experience in ministering to the Corinthians. If Paul himself received so much criticism for his faithful ministry, how can any minister who serves today expect to receive less? Like Paul, he may be criticised for his appearance or for his preaching and teaching. Every detail of a minister’s life comes under scrutiny. He may be criticised wrongly and judged unfairly by men if the wrong standards are used to evaluate him. But like Paul, he takes comfort in the truth that the Lord knows his heart. As long as the Lord approves, it does not matter whether men approve of him or not.

A young violin student was playing to a full concert hall. In the seats were his fellow students and music teachers, as well as great musicians whose approvals were eagerly sought after by every aspiring violinist. The young student played well and gave his best performance. When he ended his piece, he received applause from the audience and warm smiles of approval. But his eyes were focused only on one old man in the audience – The man who had raised him up from the time he was orphaned and who had provided for all his needs. It was only when the young student saw him beaming with joy and clapping in full approval that he bowed down with tears of gratitude. He had given his best performance for that old man, because his approval was the only approval that mattered to him.

The only approval that should matter to us is the Lord’s, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant!” The Lord has loved us and given so much to save us unworthy sinners, and to raise us up as His own dear children. We owe Him so much! And now we have the opportunity to please Him with a life of faithful service. Let this become the motivation for all that we do, in whatever role the Lord has given to us in His kingdom – whether in our Sunday School, fellowship group or NBC, whether as a traffic warden, Bible study leader, musician, worship chairman, Elder or Deacon, or as a Minister of the Gospel.

In this sermon our focus has been on those who serve as ministers of God. We have seen that the true measure of a minister is not found in his external appearance or in what he says about himself, but in a character that is centred on Christ. May this help us to evaluate any minister correctly from now on. And may we also cultivate the qualities that will make us more effective in serving the Lord, seeing that it is His approval that should matter most to us. 

By Rev Charles Seet

Preached at Life BPC 8am & 11am service, 2015-04-19

Text: 1 Corinthians 7:10-16,27

The marriage institution has fallen on hard times. In Singapore, the number of divorces is still rising. Just two weeks ago, a report which was released by the Ministry of Social and Family Development showed that more couples are untying the knot as the years go by. Dissolutions are now taking place within fewer years of marriage. The report showed that by the 15th year of marriage 20% of couples have gone their separate ways. This is almost double the number of dissolutions within 15 years of couples who had got married 10 years earlier. If this trend is not stopped, then 30 years from now, only half of all married couples will still be married after their 15th  year.

The grim picture that we are now faced with is that many couples are taking marriage and divorce too lightly. Whenever questions on marriage and divorce arise they get answers from all the wrong places – from what they view on the media, from what their friends tell them, and from the world at large. Many are told that marriage is merely a social and legal construct which was meant to provide a stable environment for children. Since marriage is man-made, it is not binding and can be dissolved for any reason. But these are not the right answers to questions on marriage and divorce.

The right answers must come from God Himself. Since marriage originates from Him, He is obviously the best authority on the subject of marriage. We should therefore seek the answers to all questions on marriage and divorce in His Holy Word. God’s Word tells us that marriage was instituted before sin entered the human race. It was God who brought the first man and the first woman together and joined them permanently in a one flesh union (Genesis 2:18-24), and then He gave them the command to ‘be fruitful and multiply.’ (Genesis 1:28) It was God who put a special commandment in place – “Thou shalt not commit adultery” – in order to protect the marriage bond from being violated.

The sanctity of marriage can also be seen clearly in the New Testament: Our Lord Jesus blessed it by performing His very first miracle at a wedding – when the couple ran out of wine during their wedding reception, He provided a large quantity of good quality wine out of six stone water pots. It was Jesus who upheld the divine origin and permanency of the marriage bond when He boldly declared, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6). Furthermore the Scriptures teach us that Christian marriage is meant to reflect the permanent union between Christ and the Church: “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” (Ephesians 5:23-25).

All these biblical instructions are not only helpful to those who are already married. They will also help those who are unmarried and who may get married at some point in time, if the Lord should lead them to do so. Let us all therefore listen to what we are about to hear from 1 Corinthians 7:10-16. The instructions given here were meant for three groups of Christians.

1. For Christians Married to Other Christians (vv.10,11)

The basic instruction given to them is: “Let not the wife depart from her husband…and let not the husband put away his wife.” Life partners are meant to be partners for life! This is implied in Genesis 2:24 which says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife.” The word ‘cleave’ in this verse means ‘to cling to one another permanently until death by any one of the parties should separate them.’ Therefore, husband and wife must remain faithful to each other. Both must take their marriage vows seriously: “I take thee....as my lawfully wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death us do part.” These vows must be kept no matter what happens – till death us do part, and not till divorce us do part.

Whenever I conduct premarital counseling for couples who are planning to be married, I emphasise that divorce should never be considered as an option after they are married. And I tell them that if a conflict should ever arise between them and there is a heated exchange, the word ‘divorce’ must never be mentioned. Why? Because God never ordained divorce. He ordained marriage, but only endureddivorce because of man’s sin, and even that has to be carefully regulated.

During the time of the prophet Malachi many Israelite husbands were divorcing their aging wives in order to marry younger women from foreign lands. Malachi rebuked them for doing this, and said that they were dealing treacherously! “Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.  And did not He make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.” (Malachi 2:14-16) Thus we see that divorce is actually contrary to God’s plan. God hates it!

But what if one marriage partner goes astray and becomes unfaithful because of temptation? Then the other partner has two options: The preferable option is to save the marriage by working towards reclaiming the straying partner, following the pattern given in the book of Hosea. But what if circumstances make this impossible (e.g. the straying partner refuses to give up his or her adultery)? Then the other option may be used: Sue for divorce. Divorce should only be used as a last resort, and only when adultery has been proven – not just alleged or suspected. This is what Jesus taught concerning divorce in Matthew 19:9 – “Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

From the phrase ‘except it be for fornication’ we understand that it is legitimate to divorce and remarry on the grounds of proven adultery. However, statistics have shown that only a tiny fraction of divorces (1%) are filed on the grounds of adultery. Most civil divorces in Singapore (51%) are filed on the grounds of ‘unreasonable behaviour.’ This covers a wide variety of reasons, including mental or verbal abuse, accumulation of excessive debt, addiction to alcohol or gambling, and the absence of emotional or financial support.

If you ever encounter any of these problems in a marriage relationship please do not think of ending your marriage. Seek to overcome them with the grace that Christ gives to us. Take time out of your busy schedule to talk things out objectively and to understand each other. If you were to probe carefully into the root cause of marital problems, you will soon discover that in most cases it is a breakdown in communication.

And if you come to an impasse in dealing with all the sticky issues that stand between the two of you, don’t be ashamed to get the help of a Christian marriage counsellor or pastor to facilitate better communication and prayerful resolution of the problems. And don’t act rashly to file for divorce on grounds of unreasonable behavior – remember that God hates divorce! In His eyes unreasonable behaviour is not legitimate grounds for divorce. And even if the state legally permits you to divorce on such grounds, you should remain unmarried after that. This is stated clearly in v.11 of our text: “But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried…”

There are however, two possible ways that a Christian who has divorced onillegitimate grounds can remarry. The first is when his former spouse dies. As v.39 says, “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.”

The other way that a Christian who has divorced on illegitimate grounds can remarry is when his former spouse becomes attached to someone else and marries that person. This would amount to adultery by his former spouse, which then gives the Christian legitimate grounds to remarry. There is a good reason why Christians who divorce or separate on any other grounds except proven adultery should not remarry: It keeps the way open for their marriage to be restored. Who knows that the estranged husband or the estranged wife may return one day just like the prodigal son did, with a totally changed heart? Then they can be happily married to each other again. All things are possible with God. And reconciliation is always the best option for Christians who are married to other Christians.

At this point I want you to note that this instruction for Christians who are married to Christians had originally come through our Lord Jesus Christ. Paul was only reinforcing what Christ had already taught as recorded in Matthew 19, Mark 10 and Luke 16. But the instructions that follow just after this did not come through Christ although they are also from God. This helps us to understand what is written at the beginning of vv.10 and 12. In verse 10 Paul wrote – “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord…” But in verse 12 he wrote – “But to the rest speak I, not the Lord…” The ‘Lord’ here refers to Christ, who never spoke on what Paul was about to speak on in vv.12-16, simply because the situation which is addressed here did not exist in the time of Christ. But since Paul is an apostle of Christ, the instructions he gives here are no less authoritative than all the instructions Christ had given. With that understanding we shall now consider God’s instructions…

2. For Christians Married to Unbelievers Who Want to Stay Married (vv.12-14)

The basic instruction given to them is: “…let him not put her away…let her not leave him.” In other words, keep the marriage. It is important to understand that this does not teach that Christians can marry unbelievers. Verse 39 makes it clear that when Christians marry they should restrict themselves to marrying ‘in the Lord’ (“…but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.”) which means, marrying a believer.

Verses 12 is about a person who was not a believer but becomes a Christian after he is married (Thus he is called a ‘brother’). But his wife still remains an unbeliever, and yet she is content to stay on in the marriage. Such a person should not divorce but seek to win his wife to the Lord. The apostle Peter addressed a similar situation in 1 Peter 3:1,2 – “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.” Here, the wives are the ones who had become Christians, and they are told to conduct themselves in a godly and submissive manner to their unsaved husbands in the hope of winning them to Christ.

One possible reason why the Corinthian Christians needed this instruction is that there were some among them whose spouses were still unbelievers living in the grossest sins and pagan idolatry that Corinth was so famous for. And as the Christians grew in their love for God and His holiness, they naturally found it more and more difficult to tolerate their spouses’ sinful habits and ungodly behaviour, fearing to be spiritually defiled through them. The urge to walk out of such a marriage would have been very great. This may be the reason why Paul wrote to them v.14 –“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband.” Here he was telling them that staying married to the unbeliever does not defile them. Contrary to that, it sanctifies the unbeliever they are married to.

The word ‘sanctified’ here refers to the holy influence that the unbelieving husband receives from living with a Christian wife. He is blessed with opportunities to hear the gospel from her and to see it working in her life. Besides that, whenever she is blessed by God, he gets to enjoy the overflow of those blessings into his own life.

When Jacob sojourned in Haran and married into Laban’s family, Laban testified to him after many years had passed, “I have learned by experience that the LORD hath blessed me for thy sake.” (Genesis 30:27) When Joseph became a slave in the home of an Egyptian officer named Potiphar, we are told in Genesis 39:5, that “…the LORD blessed the Egyptian’s house for Joseph’s sake; and the blessing of the LORD was upon all that he had in the house, and in the field.” How good it is to become a source of blessing to others, even to unbelieving husbands and wives. For their sake therefore, Paul urges the Christians who are married to them to remain in their marriage.

He then adds another reason why they should do this: The children of such a marriage are not unclean but holy. This is found at the end of v.14 – “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.” This does not mean that all the children in a family are automatically saved when one parent becomes a Christian. The word ‘holy’ here means that they are ‘set apart’ from the children of unbelievers. They have ample opportunity to receive the gospel and godly influence from the Christian parent. But each child still has to respond to the Gospel with faith in Jesus Christ in order to be saved.

A non-Christian home where one family member has turned to Christ for salvation is just like a dark room where a lamp has been lighted – the light shines in the darkness and brightens up the whole room. The rest of the family are blessed because of him. One Christian in a home graces the entire home! A few days ago, a member of our church shared with me that he and his son used to be the only Christians in his family. But that has changed. Last year his mother was baptized and then his father. And through his niece who is also a Christian, his brother has also become a Christian. This is all the Lord’s working and it is marvelous!

This is the reason why husbands and wives who have become Christians should continue in their marriage if their unbelieving spouse does not mind staying with them. The instruction is different however…

3. For Christians Married to Unbelievers Who Insist on Leaving (vv.15-16)

Verse 15 begins – “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart.” In this situation, the unbeliever strongly objects and wants to terminate the marriage after his or her spouse becomes a Christian. This may happen right at the moment when that spouse announces his desire to be baptized. Emotions flare up as the wife issues an ultimatum: “Now you must choose between me and your desire to change your religion. If you change your religion I will walk out of your life right now!”

It is extremely painful to end a marriage for the sake of one’s faith in Christ, especially after living together as husband and wife for many years. But the difficult step has to be taken since our Lord Jesus has said, “He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.” (Matthew 10:37,38) But our Lord also offers words of comfort, “There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God's sake, Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting.” (Luke 18:29-30)

Someone may then say, “But I love my wife very much, and I wish that she would be saved as well. If I agree to this divorce, how can I ever bring her to Christ? But if she is forced to stay in the marriage at least there is still some hope that she may be saved.” Paul would reply that this hope is a vain hope because she has already made up her mind. He says this in v.16– “For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?” If you make her stay against her will when she wants to leave the marriage, you will only create more strife and unhappiness. Thus it is better to part peacefully than to seek reconciliation in the vain hope of trying to save her soul.

In the face all the tears and heartbreak, God’s instruction to a Christian in this situation is very plain – “If the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace” (v.15) This provides another grounds that is legitimate for a Christian to divorce and remarry besides proven adultery: Willful desertion by the unbeliever. This is understood from the words ‘not under bondage’ in this verse, since Paul used the same term in v.39 when he wrote about remarriage after the death of a spouse: “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.” Likewise, the Christian who is deserted by an unbelieving spouse is at liberty to remarry if he wishes to do so, but only to another Christian.

However a happy ending is still possible even after the unbeliever has willfully deserted the believer. For God in His great mercy and providence may turn that unbeliever into a Christian later on. Remember how Paul himself was persecuting Christians before the Lord made him a Christian on the road to Damascus. If the Lord turns that unbeliever who leaves the marriage into a believer, then the broken marriage relationship can be joyfully restored if both have not married others yet. Anything is possible with God! Our part is simply to trust Him as we obey His instructions.

Here then is a summary of God’s instructions concerning marriage and divorce. If Christians marry, they should marry Christians and not unbelievers. Christians who are married should not divorce. If unbelievers marry and one of them becomes a Christian after marriage, he/she should not divorce, but should also not refuse to be divorced. Christians may remarry in three situations: When their spouse dies (v.39), when they are the innocent party in a divorce which had resulted from adultery, and when they have been divorced by an unbeliever.

Before we end, I would like to give some pastoral exhortation to all of us: If the Lord leads you to marry, please make sure that you are well-prepared for a life-long commitment of marriage, and then seek His help to build a strong Christ-centered marriage that will glorify Him! Doing this requires much effort both by the husband and by the wife. Both of you must be willing to put in the effort to be faithful and committed to each other. You need to do these things well and consistently. Therefore please pray that God will make you the best marriage partners that you can be and that you ought to be, so that you can build a strong Christ-centered marriage that will glorify Him.

Despite doing all this, problems will still arise occasionally. Even the best Christian marriages have problems because men and women are constituted differently. But you can resolve them by making a conscious effort to do more listening than speaking. This will help you to understand your spouse better and to clear up any misunderstanding. You must also keep yourself in control of your reactions – don’t say or do anything that you may regret later on. And this is something that you can do, with God’s help.

Finally, let me share something that I have found in all my years of pastoral ministry. The most important element in resolving all marital problems is forgiveness. Many couples have resolved their problems and reconciled well through forgiveness. Someone has said that a happy and long-lasting marriage is a union of two imperfect people who are good “forgivers.”

Forgiving your spouse is also something that you can do with God’s help. Please remember this: God has done so much more to forgive you than you can ever do to forgive your spouse. He gave His only begotten Son to die on the cross so that all your sins may be forgiven! When Christ was unjustly tried, sentenced to die, humiliated and nailed to the cross to die at Calvary, what did He say? “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34) Is it so hard to forgive your spouse or anyone else you know, when God has forgiven you? May the Lord help us to do what He wants us to do.