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Ephesians 6:1-4 - Biblical Family Relationships

By Rev Charles Seet

Preached at Life BPC 8 am & 1045am service, 2013-06-16

Text: Ephesians 6:1-4

It was a lot easier to build relationships when I was a child, because people always had time for each other. I used to play with all the kids in my neighbourhood. My dad and mum knew everyone who lived on the same street, and we would go around visiting our neighbours every night. We hardly watched TV then, as it was still black and white and the shows were rather boring and screened only a few hours a day. My mum was a fulltime housewife. My dad would leave for work at 8 in the morning and was back home by 5:30. It was rare for him to work overtime or to be away from home. Thus he was able to spend much time at home with the family and would take us out on weekends to church and for family outings or to visit a friend or relative.

But life has changed so much since then. There is much less time now for building relationships than before.  The demands of work and school have increased tremendously. We hardly have time to get to know our neighbours, and they are also too busy for us.  But what is worse is that many are too busy to spend time even with their own family members. As a result of this, family life is suffering a lot today.  Marriage rates and birth rates are going down while divorce rates are going up. In many homes, both parents have to go out to work in order to make ends meet. In some cases this results in neglecting the needs of their children, who in turn grow up to abandon their aged parents.

A family survey was done in Singapore two years ago. It revealed that the longer that couples are married, the less effort they put in to maintain a healthy relationship and manage their marital conflicts.  For example, 67% of respondents married for less than 5 years said they celebrate anniversaries with their spouse compared to 57% of those married for more than 20 years.  97% of respondents married for less than 5 years said they would indulge in nice gestures to make up with their spouses if they knew their spouse was unhappy with them, compared to 87% of respondents married for 20 years or more.  Fathers are spending significantly less time with their children (24 hours per week) than mothers do (34 hours per week). In many Singaporean homes, Dad leaves for work when Mum and the kids are still asleep.

Mum leaves for work shortly after that. The kids are left in the care of the maid or childcare centre. By the time Dad returns home late at night, everyone has gone to bed. They seldom have meals together because of conflicting schedules.  And even when they are all at home, each of them just sits in front of a screen. There is hardly any meaningful communication between them. Dearly beloved, if your family life is like this, then it is time to change. We cannot let this go on.

As today is Fathers Day, let all of us who are fathers commit ourselves to make family time a priority.  If we hardly spend time with our children, we will have to live with regret one day. Before we know it, they will have grown up and left the nest. So we must give more attention to them while we still can. We must build good relationships within our families. Doing this is not easy. It will require a lot of personal sacrifice, humble apology, forgiveness, willingness to love and make allowances for others, and rearranging our priorities. But this is very needful, because God requires it of us even as He has said in verse 4 of our text – “And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” How can we worship and serve the Lord in church, if we fail to do His will right in our own homes? Fathers, please make the effort to keep your home life in order, and if it is not in order, then by all means set it in order. God requires this of us!

This message is not only for fathers.  It is also for all adults who have parents as verse 2-3 of our text says, “Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)  That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” For those of us who have aged parents, doing this means that we should not neglect them. God requires us to care for them and repay them for all the love and care they had lavished on us as we were growing up. Sometimes it is only when they are gone forever that we begin to miss them, and we realise how much they mean to us. Then it would be too late to express how much we love them.

And this message is also meant for all our youthful members here who are still under the care of their parents.  The first verse of our text says: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” Please learn to treasure the time you spend with your parents.

And please remember this: You may have many friends who are your peers and whom you prefer to hang out with, but in this life you will only have one father and one mother to call your own. So make good use of your opportunity you still have now to build a good relationship with them, for the day will come when you will have to leave home and go your own separate way. You may go overseas for study and settle down there, and you may not see them again.

But some of you may say, “Pastor, you don’t know the kind of parents I have. It is so difficult to relate to them. I’ve given up trying to talk with them.” Even though this will not be the easiest thing to do, you simply cannot afford to neglect your family relationships, because of the emphasis that God gives to family relationships in His Word.

I. The Biblical Emphasis on Family Relationships

There are several ways in which family relationships are emphasised in the Bible. The first is through

A. The Examples of Godly People

One example is King David. According to 1 Samuel 22:1-3, When David was fleeing as a fugitive from King Saul and he came to the cave of Adullam, his family came to stay with him. David’s concern for the welfare of his parents caused him to bring them to his friend, the King of Moab, to be taken care of. He said, “Let my father and my mother, I pray thee, come forth, and be with you, till I know what God will do for me.” There may have been two reasons why he did this: David was worried that King Saul may harm his parents while trying to kill him, and perhaps he wanted his parents to live in reasonable comfort and his hideout in the cave was not such a place for them.

In the New Testament, the best example is the obedience that our Lord Jesus gave to Mary and Joseph.  According to Luke 2:51, He was subject unto them. And even as He was dying on the cross, Jesus still cared enough for His mother’s welfare to ask John His disciple to care for her. (John 19:26,27). Another way in which family relationships are emphasized in the Word of God is in the

B. The Commandments about Family Life

There are many commandments in Scripture that promote harmony and godliness in family life.

Husbands are commanded to love their wives, and wives are commanded to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22,25). They are both required to keep their marriage vows faithfully (Matthew 19:6). Parents are commanded to love, instruct, and discipline their children (Titus 2:4; Deuteronomy 6:7; Proverbs 13:24). And children are commanded to honour and obey their parents (Exodus 20:12).

All this should make us wonder, “Why did God bother to provide us with so many commands and such detailed instructions about family life?” Doesn’t this indicate how deeply interested God is in the way we conduct our family life? Besides this there is another way that God has shown His interest in the way that fathers conduct their family life. It is seen in the…

C. The Prerequisite for Spiritual Leadership

 When Paul wrote to Timothy about whom the Church should appoint to be elders, he specified that only those who govern their own families well should be considered. And the reason he gave is this: “If a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?” (1 Timothy 3:5) Fathers, you may be the head of a successful business corporation or organisation, but if you are not fulfilling your responsibilities as the head of your own family, God says that you are not qualified to lead His people. Your family life matters most to Him!

In line with this, it is interesting to note that one reason why of all people God chose Abraham to enter into a covenant with Him, was his diligence in leading his family to walk in obedience to God.  Genesis 18:19 tells us, “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment….”

Besides the biblical examples and commandments concerning family relationships and the prerequisite for spiritual leadership, we can see a strong emphasis given to it in:

D. The Promises Relating to the Family

 Many of God’s promises deal not only with individuals, but with their families as well.

For instance, when Peter delivered his first gospel sermon at Pentecost, he proclaimed:“Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call.”  (Acts 2:38,39)

Later on, when Paul and Silas brought the Gospel message to the Philippian jailer, they said to him,  “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.”(Acts 16:31) Earlier on in the same chapter (vv.14,15) another family was saved – that of Lydia. The Lord opened her heart when Paul preached the gospel, and then Lydia and all members of her family were baptized. Her home became the first meeting place of the church at Philippi.

This does not mean, however that all family members of a Christian are automatically saved. Salvation and faith are personal and cannot be obtained by proxy. Every individual family member has to receive the Lord for himself or for herself. But the promises of God to the family do have a basis.  They are based on the fact that the family that a person belongs to is an important influence in his life. A person’s family plays an important part in determining his values, his attitudes and his outlook on life.

As Proverbs 27:17 tells us “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” God uses your loved ones to shape and sharpen your character, your values, and your personality. Your family is the mould in which all these things are cast. Let me ask you: Where did you receive your very first knowledge and social skills? It is probably in the family you grew up in. Where did you develop your very first understanding of this world? In the family you grew up in. Whether you like it or not, much of what you are today has been shaped by God through the family you grew up in. This applies even to your physical appearance. You know the saying, “Like father, like son” or “Like mother, like daughter.” You cannot help but to bear some resemblance to your biological parents. And perhaps some of you came to know and love the Lord Jesus through a family member who introduced you to Christ, just like Andrew introduced his own brother Simon Peter, to the Lord.

Having seen what the Bible says about family relationships, I trust that we will all strive to devote more time and attention to build them. This brings us to the next part of our message, where we learn about:

III. The Way to Build Biblical Family Relationships

1. Cultivate a strong commitment to your family.  There are some who believe that what binds family members together is love. That is true, but only as long as our idea of love is not limited to the pleasant feelings or warm emotions that many people mistake for love. Real, biblical love is being firmly committed to one another, regardless of how one may feel for one another. Feelings change all the time. Parents will sometimes feel grieved by their child’s bad habits. Siblings often get upset with each other over room space and exhibit ‘sibling rivalry’. If family relationships depend only on feelings, the home will soon become a hostile war zone!

But when there is commitment to one another, family relationships will remain strong and stedfast, despite any change of feelings. Commitment keeps a son from betraying his father to the father’s enemies. It makes him seek instead to defend his father’s honour.  That is why Psalm 127:5, speaking on the blessings of having children tells us: “Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”

 Commitment keeps a mother from giving up on her child no matter how difficult he may be. As Isaiah 49:15 says, “Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb?” Commitment keeps a father from disowning his son, even when that son has offended him deeply and become very rebellious.  We think of the father of the prodigal son, who kept looking out day after day for the son’s return until he finally saw him and ran to welcome him home (Luke 15:20)! What distinguishes a Christian family from all others is that its members are committed to deal with relationship issues and sin by forgiveness and reconciliation. This commitment to forgive and be reconciled to one another enables the family to overcome every relationship issue.

Commitment also makes a person willing to help his own brothers and sisters in the day of their adversity.  Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” The tie that binds family members firmly together is commitment. A strong commitment to your family will make you willing to make personal sacrifices for them.  Some years ago, a well-qualified church member resigned from his well-paid job in a multinational corporation for a job that pays him less but affords him more time to spend with his family. He has never regretted making this decision.

To our younger members, spending time with their family may not be as high on their priority as spending time with other young people. That is quite natural. But please set aside time for your family as well.  There are times when you have to say ‘No’ to your friends, and tell them that this time, your family must come first. This is especially so when your dad or mum has planned something for the whole family to do together, and you imagine that you are going to be very bored if you go with them, and that you can have more fun if you go with your friends, or stay home and play computer games.

Listen to this: Whatever time you spend with your family, in doing things together with them, going places together, or just being together, is not wasted. These moments help to build memories that will last for a lifetime.  These pleasant memories play an important part in strengthening family relationships, just as remembering God’s past work in our lives strengthens our relationship with Him (Psalm 77:11). What memories of your loved ones have you built thus far? Do you occasionally take a journey back into the past to reminisce all the warm and tender moments that you have shared with them?

If you ever find your family relationships beginning to grow stale, like the old saying,“familiarity breeds contempt” then one way to restore freshness into your relationship is to relive the good memories of your past experiences together. And then go on to build more good memories by spending meaningful time with them. And if you want to make your time with them meaningful, there must be meaningful communication with them. This brings us to the next point on how to build biblical family relationships:

2. Communicate meaningfully with them.  How do we communicate meaningfully? There are three levels of communication: The first level is the most superficial, as people only exchange usual clichés like, Good morning! How are you? Fine? Have you eaten yet? Have you done your homework? When the conversation progresses beyond this level, it develops into an exchange of facts. This is where people feel comfortable to share things they know without expressing their opinions of feelings yet (something like ‘coffee-shop talk’). They may talk about the weather, the news, and also about certain people they both know. But this is not the deepest level of communication yet.

The deepest level is where people begin to open up to share how they feel about the things discussed. They begin to express their opinions, preferences, things they are happy about or disappointed with.  This is what some would call – a “heart-to-heart talk.” It is this level of communication that builds up the relationship. This is where they are at ease with one another, and where those who communicate have become confident that they can trust one another without any fear of being judged or maligned.

Let us learn to communicate with our family members meaningfully, going past all the usual clichés and exchange of facts, and proceeding on to the level where real influence is imparted, and personal impact is made. Another thing you should include in your communication to your family members is to  express sincerely what you really appreciate in them and value about them (cf. Philippians 4:8). This is something we often forget to do because we tend to take our family members for granted.

We who are parents often forget that our children need to receive personal affirmation and appreciation from us regularly. In verse 4 of our text we are told:  “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath…” The same command is given in Colossians 3:21, but with the reason added to it:  “…lest they be discouraged.” Constructive criticism is necessary to help your child improve, but if all that he hears from you is constant nagging and criticism day in and day out, he will become discouraged and angry. He may even give up trying altogether, thinking that everything he does will never please you. You may tell him that you are doing this for his own good, and that you have his best interests at heart, but how will he believe you, if you take no notice of his efforts to improve, and you have no word of appreciation or encouragement for him?

And so, if you want to build a good relationship with your child, be sure to communicate with him meaningfully and in doing so express appreciation to him. One sincere word of appreciation from your heart can go a long way to build up your child and draw him closer to you. And if you want the best for your children, you should also…

3. Pray for them and with them.  This is the 3rd and last point in building biblical family relationships. All our desires for the well-being of our family should be turned into prayer. And when you pray, thank God for each of them, and ask Him to strengthen your relationship with them.

For those who are parents, please don’t pray only that your child will do well in his exams and be able to get into right school and college. The more important thing to pray for, is for your child’s salvation and his walk with God. And let that prayer for him be matched by your own efforts - Efforts to build him up spiritually to fear the Lord and to live for Him.

The strongest family relationships are those that involve God in them.  E.g. in Acts 21:9 we are told that Philip the evangelist,  had four daughters who prophesied, living together with him. They shared the same passion for God’s Word and service that their father had. And this family provided warm Christian hospitality to weary missionaries like Paul as he returned to Jerusalem. This shows us that the closer that family members draw to the Lord, the closer they will also be to one another.  When they love the Lord very deeply, they can share a deeper and more meaningful relationship with one another. There is a saying that ‘A family that prays together stays together.’

In some homes however, not all family members share the same commitment to Christ. Sometimes the children are deeply committed to Christ, but the parents are not. Sometimes it is the parents who are deeply committed to Christ, but the children are not. Some of us have loved ones who are not Christians, or who are nominal Christians. Our relationship with them is strained by disagreements that arise from this occasionally. Jesus spoke about this in Matthew 10:35-37  – “For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.  And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.  He that loveth father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.”

As long as your loved ones are not as committed to Christ as you are, there are bound to be issues that come between you and them. But if you make earnest effort to bring them to have the same commitment to Christ, then you can look forward to the day when these differences will no longer strain your relationship. Instead you will be able to share freely with them about the common faith you share in the Lord Jesus. You will have a closer and more meaningful time with them.

For this reason, please make every effort to bring every member in your family to commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ.  That means praying for them and reaching out to them with the Word of God. Invite them to the coming Gospel Sunday which is just two weeks away. Who knows that the Lord will use this to call them into His marvelous light?Let us make our homes as conducive as possible for Christ to exercise His Lordship fully. He who is the Head of the Church must also be the Head of our homes.  

We have seen how important the family is to Him and therefore how important our family should be to us. We have seen how we can build biblical family relationships with our family members by  Cultivating a strong commitment to them, Communicating meaningfully with them, and by Praying for them and with them. May the Lord help us now to apply these things well.

Ephesians 5:25-33; 6:4 - Promises to Live By: To Fathers, A Message of Love

By Rev Charles Seet

Preached at / Published Life BPC 8am service, 2003-07-20

Text: Ephesians 5:25-33; 6:4

I. The Present Neglect of Family Life 

We certainly want to thank God for all good fathers as well as good mothers. Unfortunately these are increasingly difficult to find, especially in our day and age when we are witnessing a general breakdown in family life. This is partly because of the trend today for people to be too busy to spend much time building meaningful relationships. The demands of work and school have increased so much. And the result of this is that family life is suffering a lot today. In many families father and mother both have to work for economic reasons. In some cases this has resulted in the neglect of their children, who grow up to be more familiar with the child-care or student care environment than with the home. 

In one Christian family that I know, when father leaves the house for work, mother and children are still asleep. Mother leaves for work shortly after that. The children are left in the care of the maid. By the time father gets home at about 10 pm, his family has gone to bed. They hardly eat their meals together because of their conflicting schedules. And even when family members are together at home, they would spend much time in front of the TV, catching the news or their favourite TV show. There isn't any meaningful communication between them. 

Family life was not always like this. There was a time when family members had more time for each other. I remember growing up in a home where my father would come home promptly at 5.30 pm, and everyone was able to enjoy a meal together with lots of interaction. I would go for walks with my father in the evenings. He would bring us out to visit relatives and friends or just for an outing on Saturdays. But life has changed a lot since that time.

II. The Effort Required To Maintain Family Life

It is truly a challenge to have good family life under our present circumstances. And we all have to make an extra effort to spend quality time with our loved ones at home. I too have to make an extra effort to spend quality time with my family. I try to go back home during lunchtime everyday so that I can spend some time with my wife and son. And as we eat lunch together and send my son to school, we would have some conversation in the car. And when we all sit down together for dinner one rule that we observe in my family is that the TV must not be left on during meal times, so that we can have better interaction as a family. 

We also interact during our family devotion time at night, before we all retire to bed. Sometimes it takes some effort to get everyone ready for family devotion. We would sit with our Bibles in the bedroom and start by taking turns to read a few verses from it. The youngest always starts first, and each would read a verse until we reach the end of the passage. Then I would ask a few questions to help the children understand the meaning of the passage. After that we would discuss the application of it to ourselves. Then we pray for each other - again beginning with the youngest. Sometimes we sing a short chorus to end the family devotion. 

It is my hope and prayer that all families in our church will put in the extra effort to cultivate their family life, and particularly their time of family devotions. Of course it requires someone to take the lead, and plan what to do for each family devotion - This is the father's role. He is responsible for the spiritual leadership of the home. And I say this to all fathers here this morning: If you haven't been spending much time with your family, please make a special effort to make time for them, no matter how busy you are, for you bear a very important reponsibility of the spiritual nurture of your own family. Please do not neglect this responsibility as the consequences of doing this are very painful.

A story is told about a young man who stood at the bar of a court of justice to be sentenced for forgery. The judge had known this man from the time he was a child, because this man's father had been a famous lawyer. 'Do you remember your father?' asked the judge sternly, 'that father whom you have disgraced?' The young man answered, 'I remember him perfectly. When I went to him for advice or companionship, he would look up from his work and say, 'Go away boy, I am busy. My father finished his work, and here I am.' 

III. Love For Your Family

Now, I can keep going on and on telling all you fathers here to make time for your family and to fulfill your God-given responsibility well. However, all this will not avail anything unless you have one thing that is needful - a love for your family. Hence, the main message to fathers this morning is a message to love the members of your family. 

A. What Love For One's Family is Not

Some fathers have a terribly mistaken idea of how love for the family should be expressed - �If I work hard and earn more money, I can buy more expensive gifts for my wife and children and they will appreciate me.� But instead instead of receiving the appreciation they expect, they find themselves alienated from them, and their children saying, 'It's not the gifts that I want, it is you!' Perhaps its better to give up a job that pays well but requires a lot of time away from your family, for a job that does not pay so well but allows you more time to spend with your family. This is what one father in our church did, and he has never regretted doing it. 

And so let us understand that love should not be confused with merely earning more than sufficiently to provide everything that the family will ever need. We should also not confuse love with mere sentimental feelings or warm emotions that the world tends to portray as love. What then is love?

B. Love is Based on Commitment

Let us look at our passage in Ephesians 5:25 to find out 'Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it' Here we can see that the love of a husband for his wife must be modelled on the love that our Lord Jesus Christ had for the church. Jesus loved the church so much that He gave Himself for the church. 

This love was not based on any attractiveness in the church. In fact the next two verses show us that Jesus already loved the church even before it was sanctified, cleansed and made presentable by His work in it. Such is the love that all who are husbands here must have for their wife - a love that is based on a firm commitment toward your wife. This love is not based on how you feel about your wife. Feelings change all the time. Disagreements, moods and strange habits have way of changing your feelings. If the quality of any marriage and family life depended upon good feelings, it would very soon end up in terrible jeopardy! 

But if your marriage and family life depends on a deep sense of loving commitment then it would still remain strong and stedfast, despite any change of feelings. Loving commitment enables us to be kind, patient and forgiving. It enables a husband to forgive his wife for whatever hurtful things she may have said to him ot done to him when she was unhappy. We think of the example of the prophet Hosea, who continued to love his unfaithful wife, Gomer, even after she had tragically left him and their three children to live with her lover. When Gomer found herself abused and reduced to a slave, Hosea's love for her caused him to seek her, buy her out of slavery and bring her back home to live with him again (Hosea 3:1-3). 

And so our scripture text of Ephesians 5 teaches us the husband to have such loving commitment to his wife. And this loving commitment is meant not only for his wife, but by extension, to the rest of his family as well. We who are fathers must show the same loving commitment to each child under our care. This will keep a father from disowning his son or giving up on him, even when he becomes rebellious and disobedient. Psalm 103:13 tells us 'Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.' We think of the many times that Israel rebelled against God, and roused His displeasure and chastising wrath against them. And yet as their heavenly Father, God always remained patiently and steadfastly committed to the covenant He made with them! The afflictions they suffered were actually given by God out of His great love for them. Proverbs 3:12 'For whom the LORD loveth He correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.' We think of the father of the prodigal son, who kept looking out day after day longing for the son's return until he finally saw him and welcomed him home (Luke 15:20)! 

Loving commitment also enables a father to persevere patiently in bringing up his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord as Ephesians 6:4 says, 'And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.' It is not easy to do this, because it requires fathers to know their children well enough to train them and even to discipline them with the righteous rod when necessary. All that requires much energy and time. 

But when you have the same kind of loving commitment that Jesus had for the Church, it will become quite natural for you to give your time and energy for them. It will motivate you to be with them, help them, support them and make personal sacrifices for them. 

I think of a father in our church who heard that his son studying overseas was feeling lonely and discouraged, and he took time out of his very busy schedule to fly halfway round the world just to spend time with him, counsel him and attend a church there with him. I think of another father in our church who went hiking with his son in the dense forests of Taman Negara during the school holidays, to discover the glories of God's creation together.

Please do not ever think that the time you spend with them, in doing things together with them, going places together, or just being together is wasted time. The opportunity to do all these things with them is limited to the 18 or so years until they leave the home and are on their own. Those years will be gone in no time! Please make good use of the opportunity while you still have it. Use it to build pleasant memories that will last for a lifetime, memories that play an important part in strengthening the bond of commitment in the family. And that commitment forms the basis of love for your family. Let us go on now to understand another aspect of love - how it is expressed. 

C. Love Is Expressed in Meaningful Communication

This aspect of love is also modelled on the love that Jesus had for the church. V.26 tells us 'That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,' Here we see Jesus loving the church by using the Word to sanctify and cleanse it. Without giving the Word to the Church, there can be no sanctification and nourishment in the lives of believers. Verse 29 brings out the nourishing quality of the Word which Jesus communicates to His Church 'For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church' Each time we hear the Word being preached or taught to us, Jesus is communicating His loveto us by nourhsing us! In the same way, we who are fathers should love our families by the words we speak. This means that we must communicate well with the family to edify them, and build them up.

But to some fathers, communication with the family is limited to saying to the wife, 'I'll be home for dinner', or 'Please iron my shirt', and saying to the child 'Have you finished your homework?' This may be some form of communication (and some may even say that it is better than none), but is it meaningful communication? Does it edify and build up the family? Will it bring nourishment to their lives? 

The only kind of communication which can edify and nourish is sustained, meaningful communication. This takes place when we share our knowledge and experiences, opinions, beliefs and values with them. 

Meaningful communication is a two-way process of giving and receiving. We ask them questions to probe their understanding and perception, and in turn we welcome questions from them that will ellicit answers for their benefit. This is the kind of communication that really builds up the relationship. It is the level where mutual trust and confidence has been achieved, and where those who communicate are confident that they can trust one another without the fear of being judged or maligned. Let us learn to communicate well with our family members, going past the usual clich's and mere exchange of facts, and proceed on to the level where real influence is imparted, and personal impact is made.

And let all your actions always be consistent with whatever you say. Nothing can be more damaging to communication than setting a bad example. In fact we communicate much more by what we do than what we say. In order to teach them to live lives that are morally upright, helpful to others and reverent toward God, we must live such lives ourselves for them to see and be good, reliable role models that they can follow. This will pave the way for their spiritual nurture and admonition. It is the best way to keep the commandment to fathers found in Ephesians 6:4, to 'bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.' It is the best way that we who are fathers can build them up to know the Lord Jesus, to love Him and obey Him as they should.

Now, I do not know of any fathers who keep on saying the words, 'I love you' to all their family members. Most fathers hardly ever say that. Perhaps this expression of love is rather foreign to most fathers' lips. But when we communicate with our family members meaningfully both by our words and our works, and especially to build and nurture them up in the Lord, we are actually saying, 'I love you' to them very loudly and powerfully. If knowing Jesus and His salvation is the best thing that has happened in your life, then there is no better expression of love you can give to your family than to build them up in the Lord. This brings us to the final part of our message to fathers:

IV. Providing Good Spiritual Leadership for Your Family

This is the ultimate way to love your family, and yet it is often neglected by Christian fathers. Fathers, your family needs good quality spiritual leadership, and you are the ones to provide it for them! If you fail to do this, your children will by default be led by the trends, values and influences of their friends and of the sinful world, and one day you will have to answer to God for each of them. God takes delight in fathers who take the helm of leadership in their families well, and who do not abdicate their leadership responsibility. This can be seen in the commendation that God gave to Abraham in Genesis 18:19 'For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment;'

Whenever we who are fathers begin to slacken in our role of spiritual leadership, let us remember Abraham. He became a father only when he was 85 years old when his first son, Ishmael was born. And 15 years later, when Abraham was 100 years old he had his second son, Isaac. Imagine what it must have been like for an old man over 100 years old to take care of a teenager and a toddler at the same time! If Abraham was able to exercise good spiritual leadership in his family, there is no valid reason why we should not be able to do it, by God's grace.

Abraham provided for his son's needs well - even to the extent of finding a suitable wife for Isaac (Genesis 24). He evidently taught Isaac the fear of the Lord. In those days there were no Sunday School classes or VBS that could cater to Isaac's spiritual nurture. Many fathers today unfortunately just leave the spiritual nurture of their children entirely in the hands of these ministries of the church. But Abraham wasn't like that. He taught Isaac all that he knew about God and His covenant with them. That's how Isaac later on knew enough to continue in the same covenant relationship with God that his father had enjoyed. Imagine what would have happened if Abraham had been too busy (like many fathers are today) to spend time with Isaac - the line of redemption would have come to an early end!

He would probably take the young boy Isaac with him whenever he went out to tend to his flocks and talk with him about God, and he would answer whatever questions his inquisitive son would ask him. His son would also be there with him when he worshipped God in the offering of animal sacrifices. Abraham made sure that Isaac knew every little detail about the whole procedure - how to bind the lamb, cut it and lay it on the altar with the firewood, and then calling upon the Lord in prayer. 

And Isaac later knew it so well that when they went up to Mt Moriah he observed that his aged father had forgotten the most important detail for the sacrifice - the lamb! And Abraham replied that God would provide one for Himself, which was actually fulfilled. 

And when Isaac realized on the mount that he was the sacrificial lamb, his response revealed the spiritual leadership that father had exercised over him. Although he was probably able to outrun his aged father easily, he obeyed his father without putting up any struggle or resistance. As Abraham commanded him, 'Isaac my son, go up on to the altar and lie down there' Isaac willingly yielded his life to his father to be used as a sacrifice to God.

That event on mount Mount Moriah not only revealed Abraham's obedience to God. It also revealed Abraham's success as a father. Here was a father who, as God had said, would 'command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment'. It is evident that Abraham had successfully taught Isaac how to obey the Lord, and Isaac knew that he must obey God, even if it had to cost him his life.

May all our fathers here strive to do the same in our respective families. How wonderful it would be if the Lord can say of us, 'For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.' (Genesis 18:19) 

You will notice that this verse ends with a wonderful promise 'that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which He hath spoken of him.' God had promised to make Abraham's descendants a great and mighty nation, and all the families of the earth would be blessed in him and his descendants. Now of course, this promise of being a mighty nation belonged only to Abraham. None of us can claim that promise. But there are other blessings that the Lord may bring upon us and our families if we are faithful in our role of spiritual leadership, like the ones described in Psalm 128:3 'Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the LORD.'

May we look forward to this promise being fulfilled as we take our role of spiritual leadership of our families seriously. It is a good promise for all fathers to live by, and the blessings are really tremendous! Perhaps some fathers here may be wondering how they should begin to do this. For a start, you should have a regular time of family devotions at home. If you have not done this, please plan to begin soon.

 

Ephesians 5:25-27 - The Local Church is Not Perfect

By Rev Charles Seet

Preached at / Published Life BPC 8am service, 2005-01-22

Text: Ephesians 5:25-27

In the sermon you that heard here last Sunday entitled 'The Master Builder's Blueprint,' we considered what makes a local church a true church of God. We saw that there are 5 marks which must be present in a church to identify it as a true Church that is built according to the Master Builder's blueprint. A true church would be (1) loyal to the truths of the Bible, (2) building up the saints in their most holy faith, (3) carrying the Gospel of Christ to the ends of the Earth, (4) rightly administering the sacraments, and (5) faithfully exercising Church Discipline. 

It must be mentioned however, that while a local church should bear all the five marks to qualify as a true church of God, there has never been any local church on earth that has fulfilled all these five marks perfectly and consistently. Some churches may be very strong on upholding their doctrinal standards, but are rather weak on evangelism and missions. Others may be quite strong in evangelism, but are rather weak in the area of church discipline. And yet other churches may be strong in exercising Church Discipline but not doing enough to build up the faith of its members. Thus all true churches of God will have specific areas in which they are not doing well enough, and must strive to do their best to improve.

I. We Should Not Have Unrealistic Expectations of a Church

In practical terms what this means to us, is that while we should always be careful to join or worship in a church which bears the 5 marks of a true church, we will never find a local church that is perfect. While our expectations of a local church should be high, and rightfully so, please be careful not to have expectations which are utterly unrealistic. Why? Primarily because we must understand that each local church on Earth comprises of sinners who are saved by grace, and who are still growing and being sanctified by the Lord. God has not finished with us yet. And even the very best and most godly members of a church and who are qualified to serve in its leadership are not perfect people. When all has been said and done, they are all still fallible human beings, who need much prayer and patience from the congregation and much help from God, in order to discern His will for the church, and to be preserved from falling into sin and from grievous error. Each local church will therefore have its own spots and blemishes. 

There was once a person who visited a church I was helping to serve in when I was a missionary overseas, and after the worship service I went to welcome him. I found out that he had attended about 70 other churches before. Each time he had joined a church for a few weeks or months. And he said that he still had not found a church that fully met his expectations. There was always some fault that he found in it or something that he disliked that caused him to move on to another church.

I trust that we will be careful not to have such unrealistic expectations of any local church we are in, or else we may end up becoming 'church hoppers' like the person I mentioned. The fact is, you will never find a local church which is faultlessly perfect. This fact is stated in the Westminster Confession of Faith: 'The purest Churches under heaven are subject both to mixture and error;(1) and some have so degenerated, as to become no Churches of Christ, but synagogues of Satan.(2) Nevertheless, there shall be always a Church on earth, to worship God according to His will.(3)' (WCF 25:5)

When our Lord Jesus Christ wrote the epistles to the seven churches in Asia, He also rebuked them for certain faults and sins that each of them had. The Laodicean Church probably received the strongest rebuke of all. Revelation 3:16 'because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.' And yet Christ still loved this church deeply and chastised it in order to purify it. It was still regarded as being a true Church of God. But whether it would continue to remain one, would depend very much on how it would respond to the rebuke of the Lord Jesus Christ. 

If it did not respond well to Christ's rebuke, and allowed its faults and sins to fester and grow further, it may degenerate to a point when it can no longer be called a true church of God. But if the church responded well to the rebuke, and repented of its sin, then it would remain as a true church of God and would continue to be used of God. This leads us to the next point of the sermon:

II. We Must Respond Well as a Church to Christ's Purifying Work

It is wrong to say, 'Since no loval church can ever be perfect, there is no use in trying to be a perfect local church. So let us remain as we are.' Even though it is very much an uphill task, it is the responsibility of each local congregation to be constantly aspiring and striving after purity, with the help of our Lord Jesus Christ. We see this now in our sermon text in Ephesians 5:25-27, which teaches us about the ongoing work of Christ, of purifying the church 'Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.' There are three things about the purifying of the Church that we want to observe from here. Firstly:

A. It is Motivated by Christ's Sacrificial Love for the Church (v. 25)

The greatness of Christ's love for the Church appeared in His giving of Himself. And He did this even unto the extent of dying on the Cross for it. We should never cease to be amazed at the undying sacrificial love that Christ has for the Church. We must also be motivated by this love to respond well to Christ's purifying work in us, the work that Christ is doing now to the Church as a whole, and in each true local Church in particular. This brings us to the second thing we can observe from this passage regarding the purifying of the Church, namely that 

B. It is Effected by His Sanctifying Work on the Church (v.26,27b)

He is sanctifying the Church. This means that He is making the Church holy, or separated from the world and unto Himself. Just as God separated the light from the darkness on the first day of Creation, Christ is also separating us from the world to be a peculiar people for Himself, who are zealous of good works (Titus 2:14; 1 Peter 2:9; Deuteronomy 14:2). 

Besides sanctifying the Church, v.26 tells us that Christ is also cleansing the church. He cleanses it to remove the guilt of sin, the effects and pollution of sin, and the dominion of sin. There are three terms used in v.27 to represent these: the first is the word 'spot.' This refers to stains which spoil the precious beauty of an object. One stain that mars the purity of many local churches is worldliness. In our Lord's sight, worldliness is like an unsightly stain in the Church which He wants to remove. When Jesus came to the Temple and saw how the world had crept into it in the form of vendors marketing their wares, he was moved to remove them from the Temple. This is why James 1:27 tells us that we must keep ourselves unspotted from the world.

The second word that is used to represent imperfections in v.27 is 'wrinkle' - this word refers to unwanted lines or creases. When a crease forms in a wrong place on a piece of fabric, it may be a potential weak point where the fabric may tear. These lines or creases may therefore be likened to the lines of division that threaten to break the fellowship and unity of a church. It is sad to see this happening among God's people when they disagree with one another. 

Instead of trying to iron out these divisive lines with love, we allow them instead to grow deeper and deeper. The Lord dislikes such a divisive spirit when He sees it in the church (1 Corinthians 1:10) and He will seek to remove it.

The third word that is used to represent imperfections in v.27 is the word 'blemish' - this refers to defects. It is a term often used in the description of the condition of sacrificial animals - they must have no defect or blemish. A lamb is considered to be blemished if it is blind in one eye, or lame in one of its legs or even if it has an extra leg. In 2 Peter 2:13, false teachers are called blemishes in the Church. And these all have to be removed in order to restore wholeness to the church.

Now, in v.26, the process of removing all these imperfections can be likened to the process of washing with water. When we wash our clothes we let it soak in soapy water first, and then we scrub away every spot and stain that we can find on it. 

What does Christ use as the equivalent of water to sanctify the Church? John 17:17 gives us the answer, 'Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.' The Word of God is the means that God uses to sanctify the Church. Whenever the Word of Truth is rightly divided in a Sunday sermon, or in a Sunday School lesson, or in a Bible study lesson conducted in a church fellowship group, or even in a printed church weekly bulletin, the Lord lets us all soak in His Word. Then Christ Himself applies His Word to our hearts to deal with the specific faults and weaknesses that are in us, until we recognise them, yield to Him fully, and have them removed. And sometimes there are some very stubborn spots and stains that cannot be removed without going through the pain of chastisement. 

Dear friends, whenever the Lord cleanses or purges a Church of all its spots, wrinkles and blemishes, there is bound to be some discomfort, anguish and even pain. The church in Corinth endured much sorrow and distress together with the apostle Paul who had to make several trips to the Church just to deal with all its problems, because it was undergoing a purification process. This church had grave problems such as divisions, immorality, profaning of the Lord's Supper, and false teaching. But Paul did not give up. He persevered with them because the Spirit of Christ was moving him to purify this church, as he himself wrote in 2 Corinthians 11:2 'For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.' 

In this verse we can also see that the end result (to be able to present the Corinthian Church as a chaste virgin to Christ) is the ultimate reason for enduring all the unpleasantness of the purifying process. And this is the same reason for Christ's work of purifying every Church that belongs to Him. 

C. It Results in a Satisfying Holiness of the Church (v.27)

We see this in v.27 of our text of Scripture: 'That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.' Now the glorious and holy state of the Church that is described here is not temporary, but meant to be permanent. It refers to the final state of the Church, after the second coming of Christ and the resurrection of the saints have taken place, at the time when the Bride of Christ is finally revealed in all her fullest resplendent beauty for all Creation to behold (Romans 8:19-21; Revelation 21:9). Therefore this verse does not teach that a local church can reach a state of perfection in this present world. 

There is no doubt that the Church will be perfect one day - Christ Himself will see to that. But it will not happen while the Church is still in this world. It will only happen after this present world is destroyed and gone forever. For the present time however, it is God's will that each and every local Church should be striving toward perfection. This is why no Church should be satisfied with just keeping the status quo, but always seeking to reform itself, by conforming its work and practice more and more to the Holy Scriptures, particularly in those areas where it is still lacking. 

Life Church is no exception to this. Although the five marks of the church which we studied last week are present here to varying degrees, there are definite areas in which we are still lacking, and in which we are required to strive toward full conformity with God's will. By human standards we may seem to be doing well as a Church. But by Christ's standards we are definitely lacking and there are areas in which improvements must be made.

III. We Must Take Heed to What Christ Says to Us (cf. Revelation 2-3)

Earlier on in our study of the Scripture text, we had seen that Christ uses His Word as the sanctifying agent to remove every spot, every wrinkle, and every blemish from His church. And our part is to see to it that we respond faithfully to His Word, whenever He speaks to us from it. 

Let us look at some of the things that Christ has spoken to some local churches in order to purify them of their spots, wrinkles and blemishes. Perhaps He may be speaking the same things to us as well.

To the church of Ephesus, the loveless Church, Christ said, 'Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.' (Revelation 2:4-5) The leaving of their first love was the great blemish that stook out in the otherwise spotless record of this church. Dearly beloved, let us see if we as a Church have also left our first love for Christ. That first love that we had for Him matters more to Him than all the good works that we can do.

To the church of Pergamos the compromising church, Christ said, 'But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balac to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and to commit fornication.' (Revelation 2:14) The doctrine of Balaam here refers to Balaam's devious scheme to turn the Israelites away from God by seducing them with beautiful Moabite women. Dearly beloved, perhaps we have also allowed compromising relationships to draw us further and further away from God. Let us examine our hearts carefully.

To the church of Sardis the dead church, Christ said, 'Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die: for I have not found thy works perfect before God. Remember therefore how thou hast received and heard, and hold fast, and repent' (Revelation 3:2-3) The interesting thing about this church is that it had a name or reputation of being alive, but in reality it was a spiritually dead church! Dearly beloved, like the church at Sardis, we too have the name Life Church, and outwardly we have many activities and ministries for all age groups, but is Life Church actually spiritually alive? Or has Christ found our works to be imperfect in His sight?

To the church of Laodicea, the complacent or lukewarm church, Christ said, 'Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked: 18 I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.' (Revelation 3:17-18) 

The main problem with the Laodicean church was that it was totally unaware of its own sorry state. It proudly assumed that it was fine and did not need anything, until Christ revealed how badly it needed to come to Him for help! Dearly beloved, let us not assume that all things are perfectly all right in Life Church. 

You know, our Church may look very impressive outwardly, blessed with a good attendance and with good offerings every Lord's Day, but inwardly we may be a spiritually destitute Church in need of revival from God. If this is really the case, then we must all get down on our knees as a Church and pray corporately and earnestly that the Lord will be merciful to revive us and awaken us out of complacency!

As your pastor, I am most concerned about how the Lord Jesus Christ perceives all of us here in Life Church, and what He wants us to do as a Church that we have failed to do. I am certain that Life Church is far from being a perfect church in the eyes of our Lord, just as I am painfully aware that I am far from being the kind of pastor that I ought to be to all of you. I would be the first to regretfully confess, as I stand before the Lord Jesus, that I have many weaknesses and shortcomings as a pastor. I believe that there are some shortcomings that I am not even aware of! 

And in this I would ask you now for help - that if God should show you any shortcomings in me, that you think I may not be aware of, please do not keep it to yourself, but share it with me. You will be doing me a tremendous favour! I assure you that I will be most grateful to you, because I believe that it will help me to grow to be a better pastor to God's flock, and perhaps it will at the same time also help every one of us to grow as a Church, towards the purity that Christ wants us to have.

Dearly beloved, the responsibility to strive toward becoming a pure Church, without any spot, wrinkle or blemish, rests not only on the Leadership of the Church. The responsibility also rests on all of us who are members as well. You will notice that when Christ spoke to these local churches in Revelation 2 and 3, He addressed not only its leaders, but its members as well. 

And for each of them, the last word that He left with them was always the same: 'He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.' (Revelation 2:7,11,17,29; 3:6,13,22).

In closing, I would really like to urge you now to take heed with me to what the Spirit is saying to our Church this morning, and also to respond together as a Church, to Christ's loving work of purifying us of every spot, wrinkle and blemish that He sees in us. May the Lord do a mighty work in our midst as we look to Him who is the Head of our Church.

Ephesians 5:15-17 - Redeeming the Time For The Days Are Evil

By Rev Charles Seet

Preached at / Published Life BPC, 10:45 am service, 2004-11-21

Text: Ephesians 5:15-17

In our present series of messages on the theme, 'Looking to the Coming of Christ' the most important question we have been concerned with is, 'How should we live now, in view of the soon return of our Lord Jesus Christ?' In answering this very practical question, we have considered thus far our need to be faithful, wise, watchful and prepared. 

One area of our life we need to consider carefully is our stewardship of time. Are we putting our time to good use in view of the limited time that is left for us until Christ returns? Should we continue to use our time in the same way that we have been using it all along, when we know that Christ's coming is getting nearer and nearer? Should we not rather treat time now as a precious commodity, and make every day, every hour and every moment count for the Lord?

This morning we want to learn from what God's Word has to say on our stewardship of time, and examine our lives to see if we need to make some changes to our use of time. It is generally observed that many Christians today, whether working adults or students, do have a problem with their stewardship of time. There are some whose time is so fully occupied with secular work and with the cares of this world, that they hardly have any time left for spiritual development, or for Christian service. And when they have some spare time on their hands, such as during their year-end holidays, or during their retirement, they would rather spend most of it on recreation and pleasure for themselves, instead of doing the Lord's business. 

On the other extreme there are also some Christians who may spend too much time engaged in too many church activities, that their work or home life suffers. They even neglect their loved ones, and become irresponsible employees or students. This is not a good testimony for the Lord. It may even lead the unsaved to conclude that Christians are irresponsible social misfits.

You need to find the right balance. On one hand, you need to spend enough time in building yourself up, and in preparing yourself sufficiently to live independently and responsibly in this world. The Bible tells us that as our Lord Jesus did not neglect His social responsibilities. He worked as a carpenter until He was about 30 years old, and wasn't a burden to anyone. On the cross, He ensured that His mother would be cared for by His disciple, John. And when He was growing up into adulthood, He did spend sufficient time in personal development: 'Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.' (Luke 2:52) For us, this means that we need to acquire enough learning, enough mental and physical fitness as well as social skills that we need for our own personal development.

But at the same time as you seek to develop yourself, you need to spend enough time in the service of God's Kingdom - so that your life will be able to accomplish whatever God wants you to do, and you will be a blessing to others. Instead of following the worldly trends of seeking after fame and fortune, you should be seeking first the kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33).

Finding the right balance between service to God and self-development is not easy. This is because life in this present age is more complicated than life in previous times. The demands of living in this present competitive age are very great - If you are working, there are always goals, standards, and deadlines that you are expected to meet at your workplace. You will have to balance this with your family responsibilities, and also with any social responsibilities you may have. With such great demands on us, it is not easy to balance our time. There will always be many things in the way, demanding our attention all the time. 

The question is: With such demands on our time, how do we exercise good stewardship of our time? The answer can be found in what the apostle Paul wrote to the Ephesians: We should 'walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.' (Ephesians 5:15-17). The first thing we observe here is a call to:

I. Walk Circumspectly

To walk circumspectly means to walk with care, looking before taking any step. Our missionary in Cambodia, Rev Moses Hahn, has mission outreach in Pailin, a town that is close to Thailand, and that was once the stronghold of the notorious Pol Pot regime. That whole area is infested with mines, and there are plenty of warning signs along the road, with pictures of people who died or who had their limbs blown off because they were not careful to walk circumspectly.

Dearly beloved, life is like taking a long walk across a minefield. And if we are not careful we may step on a min% and reap awful results. That is why we too must 'walk circumspectly.' We should not rush headlong into things that everyone else seems to be rushing into without thinking, for it may turn out to be something that will lead us into spending all our time on things that are worthless and even destructive. E.g. addictive pleasures, and immoral pursuits.

But how does a person walk circumspectly? How will we know which is the right step to take? Sometimes we have to make choices in areas that are ethically grey, and we wonder if we should get involved or not. If you look at our text of Scripture again you will notice that it says 'not as fools, but as wise.' We must therefore get wisdom. In the book of Proverbs 4:5 and 7 we see how important wisdom is for living: 'Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth. Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee. Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.'

This wisdom can be obtained with God's help, by spending time in the Scriptures. According to Psalm 119:105, The Word of God is a 'lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path.' If we make the effort to know it well, we will be able to make wise decisions and sound judgments. And this will help us to spend our time wisely, in things that are fully worth all our time and effort. This brings us to the next part of our passage, which speaks of:

II. Redeeming the Time

To redeem the time is to make the most out of the limited time that we have. The phrase 'redeeming the time' can also be translated 'buying up the time'. There is a strong implication here that there is a limited supply of time. Therefore we ought to manage our time and opportunities in the same way that a shrewd trader or merchant would manage his business - always seeking to obtain maximum profits and gains out of every investment or his limited resources. And if a venture he goes into proves to be non-productive, he would not waste any more of his precious resources on it. 

Redeeming the time obviously requires us to do some planning and prioritising. We must prioritise our activities carefully, and decide which deserve more time and which deserves less time from us. Redeeming the time also means trying to save time whenever possible, so that no hour is ever wasted. It means remembering that we have only one life to live - and that soon it will be over. And only those things that we have done for Christ will last forever. To live the Christian life well, one must always remember that one day we will all have to give an account to the Lord of all the things we have done in this life.

Many people have wasted countless hours of their precious time on things that are not only sinful, but also futile. And when they give an account to the Lord, they can only express deep regret that they had not spent their time more wisely. But if we are careful to redeem our time and live circumspectly we will be able to look back on our life with the satisfaction that we had lived in a manner that is profitable for God's kingdom, and we will not be ashamed to give an account of our lives before the Lord. We would be able to say, like the apostle Paul: 'I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith' (2 Timothy 4:7)

Dearly beloved, please consider how you are spending your time now. What are the things that you are spending most of your time on? Are you using your time to accomplish everything that you need to do, or on things that you do not need to do? If you do not keep track of where your time is spent, you will find it difficult to accomplish everything that you need to do. You will always be complaining that you do not have enough time. The 24 hours of the day do not seem to be enough for you and you wish that you had a 36 hour day or 8 days a week. But the problem is not that you do not have enough time. The real problem is poor time management. 

If you find yourself unable to cope with all your responsibilities because of what seems to be a shortage of time, it means that you are not managing your time well enough. If the 24 hours of each day or the 168 hours of each week seem to be inadequate for you, then this is due to one of two causes: a. You have missed the will of God for your life (you are doing something He never intended you to do), or b. you are doing things inefficiently and not the way that God wants you to do them. 

We see an example of the first cause in Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42 'Now it came to pass, askthey went, that He entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard His word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to Him, and said, Lord, dost Thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.' 

Many of us are perhaps more like Martha than Mary - so careful and troubled about many unnecessary things, and cumbered about much serving, and not taking t(e time to think whether what we are doing is really needful or not. We trouble ourselves with things that the Lord does not require of us nor expect from us. When you get so caught up with many serving, you need to quieten yourself and ask, 'How much of what you are doing does the Lord actually want you to do?' And as you allow God to speak to you through His Word and the prompting of the Holy Spirit, about all that you are doing now, you may perhaps be surprised to discover how many of them God does not expect you to do! What you need to do then is to let others take over these things, and to focus your energies on doing only those things that are God expects you to do. 

To do this, you have to learn to say 'NO' without feeling guilty. Of course the hardest person to say 'no' to may be yourself. We often have too little time because we give in easily to ourselves, and we refuse to let go of all the extra things that we indulge ourselves. But if you truly believe that God has planned your life, and that He has provided all the time resources that you need to fulfill your responsibilities, then you must be prepared to obey Him in refusing those activities and pursuits that are not of Him.

But perhaps you have already determined that everything you are doing is truly within the will of God for you to do, but you still find that you do not have enough time. Why does this happen? It is probably because you are doing things inefficiently - and that means that you are doing not them in the manner that God expects you to do them. 

For example, Moses was not doing things efficiently when he took it upon himself to judge every legal case that were brought to him (Exodus 18:13-18). He not only wearied himself out, but he also wearied the people who had to queue up for long hours just to see him! But thank God for Jethro, his godly father in law, who advised him on how to do things more efficiently by appointing qualified assistants and organising the people into different levels of groupings. After this, Moses only had to judge the most difficult cases that his assistants could not solve, and the people were happy that they did not have to wait too long for their cases to be heard and solved (Exodus 18:19-27).

So let us remember this to help us to be good stewards of our time: We should not only ensure that what we are doing is truly God's will for us, but ensure that we do it the way that God wants us to do it. And God's way is bound to be the most efficient way to do it.

III. Understanding the Will of God for Us

Now besides walking circumspectly and redeeming the time, there is one more thing we need to do for good stewardship of time. Verse 17 says, 'Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.' We must seek to know what God's will for us is, and do it. God has a special purpose for each of us to fulfill in life, which will contribute towards His whole grand eternal plan. Living the Christian life means finding out that particular purpose He has set for you, and then fulfilling it. You must conduct your life with a sense of mission. There must be a good reason why the Lord has placed you where you are right now, why He has given you unique gifts and bestowed you with certain abilities. You must always seek to find out what He wants you to accomplish with these things, and fulfill your mission.

Now, since God has a will for your life, He must have allotted all the time that you will need to fulfill that will. This truth is mentioned in Psalm 31:15 which says - 'My times are in Thy hand' God is like an employer who tells his workers: 'Here is the work I have assigned you to do, and here are the sufficient resources you will need to do it.'

We see this principle at work in the life of our Lord Jesus Christ when He was on earth. Within His 3 years of ministry He fulfilled everything that He came to do on earth - to preach the kingdom of God, train 12 disciples and to make atonement for sin by His death on the cross. And this is the way that you should train your mind to think from now on: There will be enough time for you to do everything that God wants you to do in this life.

Besides that you should also train your mind to discern when is the right time for you to do each thing that the Lord wants you to do in life. The Gospels show that our Lord Jesus Christ was always doing the right thing at the right time. For example, He did not begin His public ministry until the age of thirty. Why did He not start His public ministry earlier - in His teens or in His twenties? Because in God's perfect will for Jesus, those 30 years of development were absolutely necessary to prepare Him effectively for the 3 years of ministry after that. Our Lord Jesus had a keen understanding of when He should start doing anything that He came to do on earth. Early in His ministry when His own family members suggested that He should go to Judaea and reveal Himself to the world by doing miracles there, He said, 'My time is not yet come: but your time is alway readyn' (John 7:6) But later on, when the right time came, He did go to Judaea and perform many miracles there.

Let us always be praying that God will lead us each step of the way to do the right thing at the right time. With a sincere willingness to do whatever God wants you to do, you can ask Him 'Lord what wilt Thou have me to do?' And when He speaks to you through His Word and through His Spirit, be ready to respond, 'O Lord, Thy will be done.' 

We have thus seen that good stewardship of time requires us to do three things: w!lk circumspectly, to redeem the time, and to understand the will of God for our lives. There is one more part in our passage to consider. And this part adds a sense of urgency to all that we have seen: It is the last part of v.16 which says: 'because the days are evil.' 

Dearly beloved, let us be aware that we are living in evil days � the last days before Christ's return. These are the days already foretold in the scriptures. 2 Timothy 3:1-5 'This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. 2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, 4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; 5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof.' Is this not a clear description of the present age we are living in?

The perilous times in which we now live, make it all the more urgent for us to be good stewards of our time. Everything that we do now must be carefully evaluated, lest we get ourselves caught up in the many self-seeking pursuits of the world, and in the self-glorifying spirit of this present age. Against all that, we must always remember that our ultimate purpose for spending any time is to glorify God. This should be the ultimate purpose for whatever you do. This truth is expressed in 1 Corinthians 10:31 'Whether therefore ye eat, orkdrink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.'

And so we should always reflect carefully on the ultimate purpose of the things we spend our time on. What are we doing them for? Some of us are perhaps seeking so hard to do well in our business and to climb up to the top of the corporate ladder. Are we seeking this to glorify God, or to glorify ourselves in the same way that the world is doing? Some of us want our children to do well in their studies and get into the very best class and we push them hard to achieve. We must ask ourselves why we want this for them. Is it for God's glory, or is it for self-glory?

Some of us are perhaps seeking to upgrade ou2selves with higher studies. Can you honestly say that you are doing this to glorify God? If your motive is to be of better use for the Lord to fulfill your God-given mission in life, then it may be the right thing to do. Acquiring more learning and skills is very valuable when that learning will make you wiser and more productive in serving God and your fellow men more effectively. But do not seek higher studies to be great in the eyes of men, and to add more degrees to your name, as this will only glorify yourself, and make you a plain follower of the self-promoting spirit of the world.

If you are upgrading your home, do it for the purpose of glorifying God by providing a home that is conducive for your loved ones in your family to grow up in good health and peace. But do not upgrade your home or lifetyle with the objective of improving your image in the world, to attain to a higher position of status in society, or to rub shoulders with those who are able to afford a vary high standard of living.

Dearly beloved, the bottom line is this: Seeing that the days we live in are evil days, we must be very careful not to spend our time unwisely in self-glorifying pursuits. Let us put these things away from ourselves, so that we will have more precious time to invest in good, wholesome pursuits that glorify none but our God.

Since Christ endures for all eternity, why not invest more time in deepening your relationship with Him? Since the Word of God abides forever, why not invest your time to grow deeper in your knowledge of God's Holy Word? Since lives that are saved will inherit eternal life, why not invest your time in earnest prayer for them, and in developing skills that will enable you to communicate the life-changing message of the gospel more effectively to them? And since the Church is the body of Christ that will be with Him forever, why not invest more of your time in participating in the life of the body, in building and edifying one another?

These things are worth your much more of your time than all the present time-consuming amusements you indulging yourself, like TV-watching, video-gaming, hobbies that are not edifying, and hours upon hours that some of us are spending in idle chatter over the phone or in endless on-line chatting. This applies to every one of us regardless of your age or condition in life. For no matter how old you are, you should put your time to good use. Please do not think that you are ever too old to exercise good time-stewardship.

I know of one dear sister in her late 70s who is now staying in a retirement home in Australia, but she uses much of her time to write encouraging letters to her friends and loved ones, as well as to missionaries who are serving God in other lands. One elderly sister in our church has been composing poems to cheer others. With the help of her friends she would get them typed, illustrated, photocopied and distributed to others. I think that many have been encouraged through her poems. 

Even if one day you become physically incapacitated and confined, you can still make good use of your time. A veteran missionary once told me that he attributes the success of his ministry to the prayers made by his dear aunt in his home country. Although this aunt of his had never been to the mission field before, and was confined to her room all the time because of the infirmities of her age, she knew everything about his ministry, and even all his coworkers and the native Christians who had come to know Christ through his ministry. All their names were written in her Bible, which she used daily in her devotions. She prayed for all of them as if she knew each ot them personallyn Her prayers have been used by God to avail much. 

If believers like her can redeem the time so effectively to do much for the Lord in these last days, there is no reason why we cannot do the same, while there is still time before Christ returns. And so I solemnly challenge you now to make a fervent commitment to exercise good stewardship of your time, to walk circumspectly, redeeming the time because the days are evil, understanding what the will of God is.

Ephesians 5:18 - Are You Filled With The Spirit?

By Rev Charles Seet

Preached at / Published Life BPC 8 am service, 2007-11-18

Text: Ephesians 5:18

If someone were to ask you the question, 'What is God's will for your life?' How would you answer him? Some of you might say, 'I think that His will for my life is to take good care of my family and to be a blessing to all my loved ones and friends.' Some others may say, 'I believe that God's will for my life is to bear a good testimony for Him that will bring souls to the saving knowledge of Christ.' While answers like these are well-meant and good, they do lack one very important thing. They do not address the most important part of God's will for each and every child of His - His will is that all of us will be holy, like Him. This ought to be the basis of all that is God's will - whether it is to care for your family, or to be a blessing to others of bear a good testimony - above all these is God's will for you to be holy. 

This is stated several times in the Scriptures, e.g. 1 Peter 1:14-16 'As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as He which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.' (see also Leviticus 11:44, 19:2, 20:7) There are also a few other verses that emphasize God's sovereign will for us to be holy: 1 Thessalonians 4:7 'For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.' Ephesians 4:24 'And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.' 2 Corinthians 7:1 'Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.'

What do all these passages teach? They teach us that God has chosen us and appointed us who believe in Jesus, to be holy. This is His ultimate, eternal purpose for us - that we who were born as sinners, unable to please God, have been specially chosen by Him to be holy! And the process of becoming holy begins at the moment of a salvation - when he becomes a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). He is freed from the tyranny of sin through Jesus Christ. What are some things that will be seen in a life that is freed from the tyranny of sin? The first thing noticeable is a change of attitude towards sin. He no longer loves sin, but hates it. This change is accompanied by a growing love for righteousness in his life. He has a healthy desire to be upright, to live according to God's principles and to do good to others. God's commandments become a delight for him to obey, rather than a duty that he grudgingly fulfills. These changes begin to emerge gradually but steadily after a person is truly saved. They are just like beautiful fruits appearing on a barren tree that has been transplanted into fertile ground and received refreshing rain. 

But these changes do not come automatically or unconsciously, without our involvement. We have a responsibility in becoming holy. It involves constant effort on our part. And the goal of holiness cannot be reached overnight. It is attained progressively and gradually. In Romans 7:19 Paul shows why perfect holiness can never be achieved on earth. Here he describes his own personal struggle with sin in his life 'for the good that I would I do not: but that the evil which I would not, that I do.' 

The Bible shows us the struggles that many godly men had with sin even though they had attained a high degree of holiness: men like Noah, Moses, Elijah, David, the apostle Peter and here in Romans 7, the apostle Paul. But in Romans chapter 8 we see that God has provided the means for us to deal with this remaining root of sin in our lives, and that provision is to 'walk after the Spirit.' Let us read Romans 8:1 'There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.' This then is the means of the process of becoming holy - so that the ultimate goal of our becoming holy as God is holy can be attained. The same means is described in Ephesians 5:18.

II. The Means of Holiness: The Filling of The Holy Spirit

Ephesians 5:18,19 'And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord.' This teaching has sometimes been misunderstood. There are some who think that being filled with the Holy Spirit is to be filled merely with some kind of power or force. They reduce the Holy Spirit to an inanimate force such as electricity - powerful but devoid of personality Cf. Star Wars 'May the Force Be With You'. Rodney Howard Brown in the Toronto Blessing, called himself the Holy Spirit bartender and claimed to be able to dispense the Holy Spirit to people like a bartender can dispense drinks! The Bible teaches us that the Holy Spirit is distinctly a Person, that is, that He has personality. As a Person in the godhead, He is to be worshipped together with the Father and the Son.He bears several marks of personalitythat we can see in several passage of the Bible: 

a. Will Power: 1 Corinthians 12:11 'But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as He will.'

b. Intellect: 1 Corinthians 2:11 'For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God.'

c. Emotion (Eph 4:30 'And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.' Ananias and Sapphira lied to the Holy Spirit - Acts 5:3). 

Hence the Holy Spirit possesses all the necessary qualities of personhood - intellect, emotion, and will. He is not a force or influence. We should never insult the Holy Spirit by treating Him as if He is not a person. The Holy Spirit should always be referred to as 'He' and not an 'It'. 

Besides this there is another wrong concept of the Holy Spirit's filling that claims that Ephesians 5:18 means to be saturated with the Word of Christ. Those who teach this, compare this verse with Colossians 3:16 'Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.' They conclude that to be filled with the Spirit only means to be saturated with the Word of God, which is also the same as desiring the Lordship of Christ in your life. So to them, the command, 'Be filled with the Spirit,' is just another way of saying, 'make Jesus Lord,' or 'obey the commands of your Lord.' Therefore there is no specific ministry of the Holy Spirit taught in this verse!

A. It Is God's Provision for Overcoming Sinful Desires

But a comparison with other passages of Scripture shows that this is not the case. There is a continuing ministry of the Holy Spirit in your life which empowers you to overcome your sinful desires. Romans 8:12-14 tells us 'Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.' Here we are told that Christian living means choosing constantly to be led by the Spirit of God, to mortify the deeds of the body. If you do not make this choice then you will end up living after the flesh.

This same means of sanctification is also expressed in Galatians 5:16-18 'This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.' Here we see the same term used in Romans 8 'led by the Spirit' which is now described as 'walking in the Spirit'

'Walking in the Spirit' is given here as the means that God has given us to overcome the lust of the flesh. When we walk in the Spirit, we are able to mortify the deeds of the flesh. So the key to victorious Christian living, is to ensure that we keep walking in the Holy Spirit. Such spiritual power for living has actually been promised to us by the Lord in Acts 1:8 'But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto Me' You see, the power that the Holy Spirit gives us to witness for Christ, is not only power to share the gospel with others, but the power to live an exemplary life that matches that gospel. 

Hence, as we walk in the Spirit we receive power from Him to live changed lives, lives that are not controlled by sin and lust - such lives become a powerful witness that will draw men to salvation in Christ, when the Gospel is preached to them.This has actually been the personal experience of many believers. There are inmates from Christian halfway houses who said that before they were saved, they tried many times to give up some vice - like gambling, drugs, smoking, lying, fighting but could not. No matter what they tried, from resolution-making to rigorous enforced self-discipline, they still went back to their vice and remained helplessly under its control. But when they became Christians indwelt by the Spirit, they found the power they needed to change. For some, the change was faster than in others, but there was change, nonetheless. This power to change came from yielding their lives to the control of God the Holy Spirit.

II. It Should Be a Daily Habit in the Christian Life

In the light of all these, we now understand the command to be 'Filled with the Spirit' in Ephesians 5:18 is another way of saying 'Be led by the Spirit' or 'Walk in the Spirit'. The verb 'be filled' means 'to fill up a deficiency; to fully possess; to fully influence; to fill with a certain quality.' The form of the verb here indicates continuous or repeated action. This means that we must be living the Spirit-filled life all the time. It should become our daily habit to yield ourselves to the Spirit's control. 

This yielding can take the form of a simple sincere prayer that we make at the beginning of each day, 'Lord, I need Thee to lead me through this day. Please fill me now with the Holy Spirit as I yield myself to Thee. Amen.' And the Lord welcomes such a prayer from us, because He said in Luke 11:13 'If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask Him?' One verse that shows how prayer is the means to be filled with the Spirit is Acts 4:31 'And when they had prayed, the place was shaken where they were assembled together; and they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and they spake the word of God with boldness.'

We shall take a closer look now at Ephesians 5:18 'And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit' Perhaps you may have wondered why of all things is the filling of the Holy Spirit compared with something like drunkenness? It is because there is something that they share in common. Both are habits. There is a contrast between two habits here - the habit of drinking wine, and the habit of being filled with the Spirit. When a person drinks wine, his behaviour comes under the influence of alcohol and it begins to change - he loses his inhibitions and does things that he would not normally do. And yet he is still conscious of his actions. When a person is filled with the Holy Spirit, his behaviour comes under the influence of God and begins to change - he will then produce behaviour which shows he is filled with the Spirit. What kind of behaviour is this? There are some who say that the ability to speak in tongues is evidence of being filled with the Spirit. But there is nothing mentioned in any of these passages about tongues. 

Instead, v.19 shows us that there may be a spontaneous desire to praise and sing to the Lord. V.20 shows that thanksgiving is another product of breing Spirit-filled. V.21 shows that submission to one another is yet another product of the filling of the Spirit. This list is not exhaustive, because Galatians 5:22,23 mentions that the fruit of the Spirit is 'love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance' The fruit of the Spirit is also mentioned in Ephesians, in 5:9 'For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth'. It is not wrong to say that nothing good can be produced in the Christian's life, apart from the filling of the Holy Spirit.

C. It Is the Responsibility of Every Christian

Now the habit of being filled with the Spirit must be learned and cultivated by all Christians. That is our responsibility. Sometimes, when a Christian fails in this responsibility, his life regresses under the control of the flesh. He falls into sin and begins to manifest the works of the flesh. This was the situation among the Galatian Christians. They were fighting and quarelling with one another, provoking one another, envying one another (Galatians 5:15,26). Whenever you see problems like these erupting among Christians in any fellowship or church and particularly in Christians who in better times had exhibited much evidence of their salvation, it is probably because they have lapsed in their responsibility to be filled with the Spirit. What they should do is to confess their sins, and get back to the Spirit-filled life. At any point in our lives we might take ourselves out of fellowship through personal sin. Sin grieves the Holy Spirit and causes a breach in our fellowship with God. 

But the Lord promises in 1 John 1:9 that if we confess our sins, He will forgive us and cleanse us from unrighteousness. This mens that upon the condition of our confession, He will heal the breach that sin has caused. This will clear the way to resume the Spirit-filled life. As we go on in our Christian life, we should become more sensitive to our spiritual state, knowing when we have lost the filling of the Spirit. We should also be improving more and more in living the Spirit-filled life, so that our periods of lapses (when we are not filled with the Spirit) become shorter and less frequent. 

Now, the Holy Spirit does not work in a vacuum. He uses the Word of God. And so we must keep on feeding on God's Word. Let us look at 2 Cor 3:18 'But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.' According to the earlier part of this verse it is only as we behold the glory of the Lord as in a glass that the Holy Spirit can change us. What is this referring to? The context of this verse gives us the answer: vv.14 and 15 is about the reading of the Old Testament by the Jews and how this does not benefit them because of the veil that is upon their hearts. Then in contrast to these Jews, the apostle Paul says in v.18 that we all behold the glory of the Lord. This means that it is only when we read the Scriptures, that we behold the glory of the Lord. 

The Word of God is like a mirror in which we can see ourselves as we really are, revealing all the blemishes we had that we are not aware of. But not only that, it's like a magic mirror, because if used properly, we will see not only ourselves, but the glorious image of Christ in it, and the more time we spend looking into it, the more we are transformed into the image of Christ.

Therefore we need to keep on reading and studying the Bible. The Word of God is the divinely ordained means to make us like Christ. Jesus prayed, 'Sanctify them through Thy truth: Thy word is truth.' (John 17:17). And so we now have a complete picture of the process of sanctification. God the Father has willed that we should be holy. We on our part must make use of the means of sanctification - which is to be filled with the Holy Spirit. But we also need to feed on God's Word to provide the Holy Spirit with the image of Christ to stamp on our lives.

Let me give you an analogy. God the Father is like the General Manager of manufacturing corporation, and He gives the directive: 'Be thou holy as I am holy.' In order for this directive to be carried out, a prototype or pattern is first needed. For no man since Adam and Eve fell was ever holy as God is holy. Where can such a pattern be found? This is where God the Son came and provided one, by living as a man on earth, His human life became the perfect working model of one that fulfils the divine directive. His life on earth was truly holy as God is holy. Now with the directive and the pattern provided, the next important question is the means of production. 

Who will now work with the raw material of saved people to produce out of them, copies of the pattern? This is where God the Holy Spirit came and took on this role, by actually dwelling in our lives from the moment we are saved and gradually transforming us by His Word until we are fully conformed to the pattern of Jesus Christ.

All three things are therefore in place: the divine directive, the divine pattern and the divine means of production. And this means that everything that is needed for our sanctification is already in place. When God tells us to be holy as He is holy, He does not leave us to figure out for ourselves how this will be done. What we have to do then, is to yield ourselves constantly to the whole process. And if we do that, at the end of it all we shall be holy as He is holy.

 

Ephesians 4:4-16 - Working Towards Unity

By Mark Chen

Preached at / Published Life BPC Weekly, 2004-01-25

Text: Ephesians 4:4-16

Many ministers ask the question, "What is the secret to church growth?" Of course, a number of things contribute to it. Among them, a strong teaching and preaching ministry is vital for the feeding of the flock, a careful oversight of the church leaders into the lives of members, a common vision, corporate and individual prayer for the church, and unity in service. It goes without saying that the leadership of the church must lead the church in all of these things. But it also goes without saying that the members of the church must cooperate. How can a particular ministry be set up when there is no one available to serve? And how can there be a prayer meeting when there is no one to pray? How can there be a church, an assembly, when those assembled are not tightly knit into the fabric of what makes a church? In Ephesians 4:4-16, we are given the hallmarks as to what a church is. 

Verses 4-6: "There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism. One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all."

Firstly, we are one body and 1 Corinthians 12 tells us that we are members of this one body - we may be the eye or the hand, but nevertheless we are part of this body. And Christ himself, is the head. And with a body, if the liver doesn't function well, there are bound to be problems. So this is saying that the Christian should never think of himself as separate from the Church. If he is part of that Church, there is a symbiotic relationship. The body needs the liver to survive and the liver needs the body to survive. 

The member can't one day just decide that he doesn't want to be part of the Church anymore, with no good reason; or he can't just decide to be an aloof member. It is akin to the liver suddenly changing itskprotein markers, and it stops functioning as a liver, or becomes sluggish in its function. It will affect the body. Likewise, the body can't develop an auto-immune response and start rejecting its own liver. The liver will die and so will the body. So when Paul speaks of the Christian and members being of one body, he is speaking about our state. He doesn't say, "Try to be a body," nor "Endeavour to be together;" but he simply says that we are already a body and we are already members together. And so from this 7e gather that each of us has a vital responsibility - to be aloof, to be absent, to be away from the life of the Church will not only contribute to the sickliness of the Church but also to our own spiritual sickliness.

Furthermore, we are told that we all share the same Spirit. The Holy Spirit dwells as much in one Christian as he dwells in another. He is not more present in one member and less present in another. We all have the Spirit. We are told in Romans 8:9 that we "are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his." The Spirit that caused me to see my sinfulness, is the Spirit that caused you to see your sinfulness. The Spirit that caused me to repent, is the Spirit that caused you to repent. Whoever we are and whatever differences we have, the work that has happened in my heart by the Spirit is essentially the same work that has happened in yours. Sure, there are differences arising from personality, education, and even temperament - there may even be a difference in the depth of the workings of the Spirit in us, and even a difference in the degree of conviction of sin, but nevertheless the Spirit has done the same thing in me as he has done in you.

And on top of that, we have a common hope. We are looking forward to the same heaven; we hope for the same happiness beyond the grave. It is not like the people of the world who have a variety of hopes - like hope for pleasure, hope for honour, hope for gain, even hope for happiness; but we have this hope for extraordinary and limitless joy. Whereas worldly hope does not lead people to a unity, our hope does. For example, two men have the same hope to get promoted; or two students have the same hope to get into the same college with only one place to offer; or two men have the same hope to obtain the same hand in marriage - obviously the consequence would be jealousy, contention, and strife. The reason is, because only one of them can obtain these things. But we Christians have a common hope that every one of us will receive a reward. Brothers and sisters, our calling is therefore the same. We have the same Lord, the same allegiance to Christ, the same infilling of the Spirit. 

Furthermore, that one God and Father, as mighty and supreme as he is, higher than all, as active as he is in all things, holding and doing all things together according to his will, yet this God and Father, is in us all. And this shows how we as Christians have in each one of us the God of the universe, and how we have the potential to do many mighty and spiritual things. 

So what is the good Apostle saying? What unites us is our commonalities. We are alike. Since we have this same Spirit, the same workings of the Spirit in us, the same hope, and even the same importance in the body, we are or should be more alike in our affections, our goals, our passions, our appetites; than we are with unbelievers. We should be closer to one another than to our unbelieving relatives. Whereas siblings may be very identical - e.g. one likes apples, so does the other; one likes blue, so does the other, or one likes geometry, so does the other - the Christian should be identical in his spiritual affections. "I don't like to gossip" "Hey, me too!" "I really desire to grow in Christ" "Wow, so do I!" "I wish Christ were to come really soon!" "So do I!" There's this mystical unity that binds us together. And every one of us possesses an equal amount of the Spirit, of God; the hope that we should have is not different, and we don't trust another Jesus but the same one. We are the same, there is no difference. 

Verses 7-14: "But unto every one of us is given grace according to the measure of the gift of Christ. Wherefore he saith, When he ascended up on high, he led captivity captive, and gave gifts unto men. (Now that he ascended, what is it but that he also descended first into the lower parts of the earth? He that descended is the same also that ascended up far above all heavens, that he might fill all things.) And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive."

But then, we're told something interesting. There is something that all of us do not possess in equal amounts. And that is the grace of God. To some is more given, to others less, but everyone is guaranteed a portion. And this grace is sufficient for all of us - we do not get jealous of other people for having more grace than us. After all, it was given according to how much Christ wanted to apportion to us. And this grace is manifested in gifts; Christ, in his wisdom and grace towards each one of us, has given us a combination of gifts that is only suitable for us. But these gifts could not have been given to us arbitrarily. These gifts cost something. Just as a parent who gets his children gifts has to pay for them, Christ, too, had to pay for these gifts. And he paid for them with his victory over death. 

Just as generals who march home from battles won bring back the spoils of war, so too, Christ, after ascending into heaven after winning the war, brought gifts and gave them to his children. These gifts, these abilities, such as pastoring, teaching, evangelizing - all these are given for the purpose of perfecting the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the building up of the body - building up of the church. This is so that, when exercised in the body, these gifts will bring the whole church into the unity of faith, of allegiance to Christ, and to mature it, that we may grow up in Christ. And it is in him that we are unified. So what makes us a church is not only our commonalities, but our different abilities that unify us. 

Verses 15-16: "But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: from whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love."

But even more so, this unity, this compactness, this joint-ness, depends on each member; we can unify the church even more, increasing and deepening, augmenting and widening it with our charity. The level of effective unity and service carried out by a congregation depends upon the depth of this mutual affection and desire for the church. And when we grow closer, the things that can tear us apart become lesser. So, brethren, our unity is not only achieved by our commonalities, and our different abilities, but also by our charity.

How much do you feel for the Church? Do you feel a part of the Church? A visitor to Spurgeon's church got lost in the basement of the church. He overheard two men talking as they hurried away to some room. They said that they were late and needed to get to the heating room. So this visitor was puzzled, and wondering why they were going to the heating room, followed them. As they walked into the "heating room," he realized what they meant � they had meant the room where the prayer meeting was held. Therein were almost 1,000 people praying. During gospel rallies when the 4,000 seat auditorium was filled, 500 people would be praying downstairs in the heating room for the souls upstairs. This was aside from the other many members who sat in the auditorium and prayed.

Is this the reality in our church? In Spurgeon's day, the basements and rooms of the church building were constantly alive with activity - daily. Groups assembled for the district visitation; prayer gatherings convened; ragged school classes (tuition) were under way; Sunday School teachers' briefings took place, and a host of other activities. And these activities were the activities of the whole church. 

Members must not only be ministered unto, but they must minister to others. The goal must always be to promote the togetherness, the unity, the compactness, and the joint-ness of the body of Christ. After all, if there is commonality, and ability, should it not be applied in charity? Dr Peter Masters has some important guidelines for promoting unity in church. 1. We must be utterly convinced that the promotion of unity of the church as essential to Biblical principle. 2. We must view ourselves as children who have been placed in a family and charged to contribute to and promote its interests. 3. We must strive to make the local church a holy and beautiful and harmonious fellowship. 4. We must believe that Christ requires us to worship, learn, and serve Him in a corporate way, and not to function in an independent manner. 

So let us serve the Lord in our church. Let us be involved in the life of the church, that we might live up to the name of our church - Life Church. Let us realize our need for one another, our ability to build one another up, and to hasten to do these things because we love one another.

  1. Ephesians 4:28 - Godly Work Ethics
  2. Ephesians 4:11-16 - The Master Builder's Blueprint
  3. Ephesians 4:11-12 - Church Leadership
  4. Ephesians 4:11 - They That Win Souls Are Wise

Subcategories

Gospel in Dialect

Do you face a language barrier when trying to witness for Christ to dialect-speaking relatives? Or do you need to polish up your Mandarin in order to share the Gospel with your Mandarin-speaking friends? This Gospel toolkit will help you to learn how to share the Gospel in Mandarin, Cantonese, Hokkien and Teochew.

There are 15 lessons covering the various topics in gospel presentation. Each lesson consists of a set of phrases, written in English, Chinese characters and Hanyu Pinyin.

To hear the proper pronunciation of the phrase, click on the respective plugin associated with each phrase. When the phrase is read for you, you should repeat it aloud. You can keep on playing back the phrase and repeating it aloud until you have mastered the phrase. Then go on to the next phrase in the lesson.

As you learn to speak new phrases, keep on reviewing the ones that you have learnt. Finally, test yourself to see if you can say the following in Mandarin / dialect aloud: 

Family

Introduction

Why a family resource page?  It has been often said that the family is the most important institution in the nation.  But never has this sentiment been as greatly emphasized in our history as a nation than now in recent times.  Indeed, the family is the most important institution because it is the first environment to which every person is exposed; it is the primary influence of a person, especially in his early formative years.  And failure of the family to influence and mould the child positively has contributed to the moral and ethical breakdown of societies.  Even the expert opinions of sociologists and psychologists point to the truth of this statement.  Counselors and mental health workers increasingly have to rely on Family Therapy to deal with the problems of the clients, seeing as how many adult conflicts and problems are actually conflicts and problems not resolved in youth within the family.  Of course, it is not surprising to find such delinquency and immaturity in the world.  And sadly, it is not surprising to find such worldliness and worldly problems in the church, as families capitulate their God-given rights.  More than ever, there is need for a family resource page, where families can be encouraged and taught to raise up Godly homes and to revive the Covenant family.  

And one of the main emphases of this resource page is on the subject and discipline of Family Worship.  According to the Westminster Directory of Family Worship, we are told that “BESIDES the publick worship in congregations, mercifully established in this land in great purity, it is expedient and necessary that secret worship of each person alone, and private worship of families, be pressed and set up; that, with national reformation, the profession and power of godliness, both personal and domestick, be advanced.”  Herein, it is suggested that national and ecclesiastical revival finds its genesis in the home.  And this is biblical. 

The theological foundations of family worship is in Deuteronomy 4:9,10 where believers are told to “keep thy soul diligently…[and to]…teach them thy sons, and thy sons’ sons when the Lord said unto me, Gather me the people together, and I will make them hear my words, that they may learn to fear me all the days that they shall live upon the earth, and that they may teach their children.” 

It is also in Deuteronomy 6:4-7 where the words which God had commanded believers should be taught diligently to their children, that they should “talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”  The chief Christian educators of our children are their parents, who have been given this sacred duty.

Psalm 78:2-7 also teaches this, especially when it says regarding the law “which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: that the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born, who should arise and declare them to their children: that they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments.” 

According to Dr Joel Beeke, “Every church desires growth. Surprisingly few churches, however, seek to promote internal church growth by stressing the need to raise children in covenantal truth. Few seriously grapple with why many adolescents become nominal members with mere notional faith or abandon evangelical truth for unbiblical doctrine and modes of worship. I believe one major reason for this failure is the lack of stress upon family worship. In many churches and homes family worship is an optional thing, or at most a superficial exercise such as a brief table grace before meals. Consequently, many children grow up with no experience or impression of Christian faith and worship as a daily reality.”

“Would we see revival among our children? Let us remember that God often uses the restoration of family worship to usher in church revival. For example, the 1677 church covenant of the Puritan congregation in Dorchester, Massachusetts, included the commitment ‘to reform our families, engaging ourselves to a conscientious care to set before us and to maintain the worship of God in them; and to walk in our houses with perfect hearts in a faithful discharge of all domestic duties, educating, instructing, and charging our children and households to keep the ways of the Lord.’”

Douglas Kelly says that “Family religion, which depends not a little on the household head daily leading the family before God in worship, is one of the most powerful structures that the covenant-keeping God has given for the expansion of redemption through the generations, so that countless multitudes may be brought into communion with and worship” of God. 

So may these resources help all Lifers to build up their families in the fear and admonition of the Lord; that Family Worship would not be an optional exercise but a time of day and activity well-sought after by Godly parents and children.  Amen.

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